Episode One: Attack of the Fandoms
This story is total crack, crack on crack,
as a matter of fact it's the crackhead bastard child of Satire and Fanon.
Justin: So, JC, how's the album coming?
JC: Well, you know, ever since Lance
went down to Georgia...
Joey: Hey guys, we need to talk.
Justin: Dude, can we talk later?
JC: Damn, J, you're such a slut.
Justin: At least I've never been a girl...Jacie.
Chris: Fuck off, Lolita!
JC: I'm not ashamed, that was an Oscar-worthy performance.
Justin: D-knee-row!
JC: Fuck off!
Justin: Fuck off!
Chris: Both of you fuck off!
Joey: Guys, really!!
Guys: What?!
Joey: She read a Harry Potter fic today...
Stunned silence.
Chris: Fuck, come on, Joe, Donna wouldn't do that.
Justin: Chris, man! We let her out of our sight for like three seconds!
Lance: ...but she did tell Ashley she was fighting it.
Have a little faith.
Justin: Jesus, Lance, just cause you're her favorite...
she's had other favorites ya know. Remember Krycek?
Chris: Yeah, and personally I blame Ashley for all this.
If she didn't keep changing the subject back
to that Potter kid every five seconds,
Donna wouldn't even be tempted.
Lance: Shit,guys, be reasonable...
Joey: All I'm saying is we should keep an eye out,
and work extra hard to keep her attention.
We've been on hiatus too long.
All staring at Justin.
Justin: What!?
Later
Justin: What?!
Joey: Fuck, Justin, now we're late...
Donna will be reading any second.
Lance: Dude, do you ever pay attention?
Chris: What the fuck does he care? He's Justin Fucking Timberlake.
Justin: Fuck off!
Lance: Guys! She's coming.
Joey: JC, honey, no.
JC: She likes my sparkly shirts, she thinks I'm unique.
Chris: She likes you better when you're humping something.
Lance: Shut up, she's here.
Suddenly...
Chris: What the fuck!?
Justin: Get out of here!
Fred: Oy! Lance! Can we...
George: ...have a word?
Lance: I'm not even going there.
Fred: Come on it...
George: ...will only take a second.
Lance: Really, you can't just show up like this, the guys might get suspicious.
Fred: We...
George: ...missed you.
Lance: (sighs) Really guys, you two are amazing, but it was just that one time,
Calico is such a great writer...I just did it as a favor...I gotta go.
Lance: Fucking beautiful.
Justin: What the fuck was that all about?
Chris: Apparently no one can resist the fine Bass ass.
Lance: Fuck off.
Joe: Right, well we better get started.
"Just a minute," Chris says, and Justin cuts him off.
Lance's hand is loose under his own and Justin squeezes it.
"Wait. This is not, we're not fucking Fleetwood Mac here. This is our decision,
not yours, and, you know, maybe just once I thought
you'd give us a little credit and say, I don't know,
I'm glad you're both happy."
Crowd: Trickyfish! Trickyfish!! Trickyfish!!
Joey: We can't work like this.
Chris: Yeah, you're right. Hey, Lance, get that fine Bass ass over here
and give 'em what they want...Lance?
Justin: Fuck, now we lost Lance. This is hopeless...and JC,
would you take off that fucking hat!!
JC: I'm just trying to be supportive of their relationship.
Chris: What now?
JC: I could call Howie, I'm sure they'd help.
Joey: Thanks, JC, but I don't think crossovers are a good idea right now.
We shouldn't do anything to take her attention off us.
Chris: Ah, fuck, what the hell is that?
Justin: mmmmmm. Leather.
JC: I wonder where he got...
Chris: Jesus, JC, now is not the time to shop.
Joey: What are you doing here?
Wolverine: Ashley sent me...she thought it might be fun.
(teehee)
Chris:Jesus, Lance! Way to be a team player.
Lance: Fuck off. Hey, what's he doing here?
Wolverine: Well, are you gonna use me or not?
Joey: Not.
Fred: Why don't you...
George: ...come with us.
Chris: That was fucked up!
Joey: Guys, we have a serious problem here.
Fred: Hey, Lance...wanna come with?
Lance: I...
Chris: Out!
Joey: There is only one thing left to do.
Chris: No...not that...
Lance: Come on, Chris, it's the only way.
Chris: Fuck off, I'm not doing it.
Joey: Oh, yes, you are.
Chris: I can't believe I'm doing this.
Outtakes
Justin: Get a room.
Chris: We have one fucker, and you're in it.
Justin: Yo, guys, can I have Hermione's number?
Joey: Wow, they even have our bobbleheads!!
Justin: Damn I'm hot!
Lance: Joe, get your tongue off my bobblehead!
Wardrobe is tough when you're dealing with such a big head.
