Doing It Real (Joey Discovers The Boy) By: Rhys Nobody told Joey that it was going to stay with him, that he was going to wake up by himself and feel more lonely in that instant than he ever had before. Joey sat in his bed for half an hour before moving, and he could still smell Justin all over him. It wasn't a bad smell, but in the early morning, it raised more questions than it answered. The morning after Joey had slept with Justin, Kelly dropped off Brianna at ten, and Joey took her, ready to be dad for a week while Kelly was out of town. Brianna napped most of the time, and when she wasn't sleeping, she was squirming quietly, always on the move. Joey appreciated the distraction of his daughter and managed to avoid thinking about Justin and sleeping with him and everything for three whole days. Joey really only thought about it late at night, when he was finally ready to fall asleep. His bed and pillows held Justin's scent as firmly as Joey's brain held the memories of him spread out beneath him, naked and ready, giving Joey more than he deserved. And Joey liked it. He could only say that when it was after midnight, and he never said it out loud. It was stupid to say it because Joey was straight. He slept with Justin as a straight man helping out his gay friend. When Joey woke up, though, he felt different, more aware of his own body, more confused than ever. He didn't like feeling like that, so he ignored the questions in his own head. Joey walked around like a zombie, purposely missing calls and returning messages only when he knew the guys were out. Justin called twice the day after then didn't call again, and Joey knew he was absolute shit, then. Justin trusted him, and Joey wasn't even returning his phone calls. It was all so stupid. Joey was straight. So, when Chris showed up and punched him in the stomach as a hello, Joey decided to talk to him, the resident former psychology major, about it. He couldn't talk to Lance, who avoided topics of sexuality like the plague, and he couldn't talk to JC, who would probably gut Joey with a spoon for doing what he did, and he couldn't talk to Justin, who didn't need a sexually confused Joey on top of everything else Joey had done to him. Chris would just yell a lot and smack him around. Joey was ready for it. He was willing to say he deserved it. "You dumb fuck," Chris said, marching into the living room, and Joey smacked him hard, pointing to Brianna, who was asleep in her bucket. Chris lowered his voice. "Returning my phone calls when you know I'm taking the dogs to the vet. So, what did you do that warrants these very Joey-like avoidance tactics?" Joey swallowed loudly. "I slept with Justin." Chris blinked hard and reeled back. Joey sat down on the couch and picked up his baby, holding her to protect himself from Chris. Brianna sighed and yawned but didn't wake up. Chris kept opening and closing his mouth, glaring at Joey. "Like, are we talking," Chris started then stopped, his leg jumping. Joey stared down at the top of Brianna's head, pressing his lips together and nodding slowly. Chris sat down on the edge of the couch, eyes narrow. "You had sex with him?" "He asked," Joey muttered, "I just. I thought it would be best that one of us did it, instead of a stranger, and he asked me. What was I supposed to say?" Chris leaned forward. "You're supposed to tell the kid to keep it in his damn pants and to wait for the next boy to come along to freak. You tell him you're straight and that you don't do men. I mean, what? He's been single for a week, and suddenly he's begging to freak one of us, and he asks and then you're gay?" Joey looked up, hoisting Brianna higher on his shoulder, and she opened her eyes, big and blue. Gently, Joey kissed her nose then turned back to Chris, shaking his head. "He was a virgin, Chris. He didn't. He asked, and I made the decision to do it. Don't blame him." "He was seriously a virgin?" Chris asked, and Joey nodded, rubbing down Brianna's back, trying to coax her back to sleep. "That's some heavy stuff, Joe. I'm pretty pissed, if you haven't noticed, but I guess, what's done is done. It was your first experience with a guy, right?" "Yep," Joey said. "Are you okay?" Chris asked suddenly, and Joey shook his head. "What's wrong?" "I liked it," Joey muttered, staring at Brianna's fat arm, lifting his hand to squeeze it lightly then bringing her hand to his mouth and kissing it. When he looked up, Chris was calmer. Joey shrugged. "I don't know. I mean, I thought I was straight, but." "Did you like the sex or did you like the sex with Justin?" "I liked having a cock in my mouth. A lot," Joey added, putting Brianna back in her basket and tucking the blankets around her, keeping her warm in his chilly house. He sat back and crossed his legs, looking at Chris. "I liked it more because it was Justin. I mean, he was. He was beautiful, Chris. And he left me right afterward." "Not used to that, I bet," Chris said, and it didn't come out meanly, just a statement of fact. Joey nodded. He really wasn't used to being the one left right after, the one who wanted to stay but wasn't in any position to ask for it. With him, it was always the reverse. He got up and walked away. "What do you want to do?" "I'm straight," Joey repeated. "Listen, Joe." Chris sat down next to him, looking serious and thoughtful. "To state the obvious, I think maybe you came to that decision too quickly. One of the few things I remember from school is the concept of bisexuality. So maybe you aren't a strict, card-carrying heterosexual, so what? Maybe you're mostly straight, with some gay tendencies. Would you fuck a guy," Chris winced, "sorry. Freak a guy you just met?" Joey pressed his lips together then exhaled sharply. "Probably not." "But you slept with Justin, and you liked it, not only because it was him but also because he has manly-bit parts. You liked his cock, and that's freaking you out. The thing is, some people argue that everyone is inherently bisexual, but most aren't willing to look beyond what society tells them is the right and proper way. What are you going to do about it?" "Cry?" Joey suggested, smiling weakly, and Chris punched him in the side. "I don't know. Justin only wanted one night, and I had him one night, but I didn't realise I was going to be the one all messed up about it. I didn't realise it was going to mean so much." Chris sighed deeply. "I don't have to tell you how much something like this can screw up a group, but I also don't have to tell you that, if you choose to do something about this situation, you would be good for him. I hate that fucker," Chris slapped his head, "sorry. That freaker for doing what he did to Justin. The kid didn't deserve being played like that." Joey nodded. "I know." "So think about it, Joe, then talk to him. It meant something to Justin, probably a lot more than he was willing to let on. He asked you, Joey. He didn't ask me, or Jayce or Lance. He asked you. I'm sure he gave you reasons why he did, but the kid doesn't just mess around with people. You get what I'm saying?" Chris asked, and Joey nodded. He got it. Now, he just had to deal with it. ~~~ The next day, Chris took Brianna, stealing the car-seat and taking her out. Joey was wary, but he really needed to talk to Justin. Chris promised not to break or horribly maim his baby, and Joey figured that was the best he could do. Driving to Justin's house, Joey turned around twice but made himself go. It was early when Joey showed up, nine o'clock on the morning, but Justin answered the door quickly and looked visibly surprised. Dressed in baggy jeans and a blank tank top, Justin was just as good-looking as Joey remembered, all pouty lips and buzzed hair. It was even attractive how his forehead wrinkled in confusion, and Joey smiled briefly, stepping inside. "We need to talk," Joey said, and Justin nodded, looking down at his feet. Joey looked down too, watching the toes curl and uncurl, and he wanted to run his thumb over the arch of them. Clearing his throat, Joey walked into the kitchen, looking for food. "I can cook you something like waffles. Or oatmeal," Justin said, walking to catch up, and Joey asked for waffles, sitting down at the table. Justin took the batter out of the cupboard and started adding things to a bowl. "How are you?" "Good," Joey said, staring at his hands. "You?" "Fine. Great, actually. Yeah, I'm good," Justin said, speaking to the bowl, which allowed Joey to stare at him openly. His back was broad and tapered down to a thin waist, and when he moved, the muscles shifted under his skin. Joey looked back at his hands. The waffles were good, surprisingly edible, and Joey said so. Justin smiled and laughed, ducking his head, and Joey grinned, nodding and chewing. They really were awesome, and it was almost comfortable, when they were eating, Joey felt like he belonged there. "I thought you had Brianna this week," Justin said, collecting the plates. "She's with Chris for the day. I only hope she comes back to me like she left. He seems to think she needs trendier clothes or something. I'm, like, dude, she's six months old, but I think he's going to take her to Baby Gap and spruce her up," Joey said. Justin snorted. "Chris is crazy." "Yeah," Joey agreed, "he really is." Joey watched Justin clean up, rinsing the plates with his head down and his shoulders rolled forward. Getting up quietly, Joey walked over to him then stopped, swallowing loudly. If Justin was aware of his presence, he didn't say anything, and Joey reached out, laying his hand on the back of Justin's neck. Justin jumped, the plates crashing into the sink. "I don't really know how to say this," Joey admitted, keeping his hand on Justin's over-heated skin, "but I've been thinking about things, about that night, about us. I mean, you didn't go into it expecting anything from me, right? I mean, you thought I was straight." Justin's voice was low and throaty. "Aren't you?" "Not like I was five days ago," Joey murmured, his heart pounding in his chest, and he moved forward, leaning against Justin's back so he could feel it, feel how real and serious a situation this was, understand that Joey meant what he said. "Fuck, J, I'm so confused. I woke up that morning and all I could think about was how mad I was that you left." "I couldn't stay," Justin said, "I couldn't. It wasn't supposed to mean anything, and I couldn't stay knowing that. I phoned though, Joey." Joey could hear something in his voice that made Joey wrap his arms around his waist and hold him. "Something got messed up, you know? I thought it would be easy." Justin finally turned around, and Joey put a hand to his face, stroking his cheek with his thumb. Justin bowed into the touch, and it was too much, too little. Joey leaned over and kissed him, his mouth slightly open. After a moment's hesitation, Justin kissed back, his tongue darting out from between his lips to touch softy to Joey's. "I don't know what I can promise," Joey muttered, speaking into his mouth, and Justin nodded, hands wrapped around Joey's upper arms. Kissing Justin again, Joey closed his eyes and explored his mouth, tasting him. "But it's something, right? It's something real." "I don't want to pressure you," Justin whispered, licking at Joey's lips, and Joey was breathless as they kissed again, Justin pressed back against the counter, Joey's hand tucked low on his hip. "You're straight, Joey. That doesn't change." "I liked it," Joey said, cupping Justin's face in his hands. "All right? I liked it, and I liked that it was with you. I don't what that means, just that it felt normal to me, it felt right to have you in my mouth, to be inside you." Justin pulled back and blinked, his eyes dark and heady. "You can stop this at any time." "I don't want to stop. That's why I came here," Joey mumbled, and he took Justin in his arms and lifted him onto the counter. Justin's legs immediately curled around his waist, bare feet hooking at the small of Joey's back. Lowering his head, Justin waited with an open mouth, and Joey kissed him again, a hand ducking under the edge of his tank, splaying on his warm back. Joey couldn't remember feeling this turned on by anyone in years. Maybe it was because he had so much sex, or maybe it was because he couldn't remember anyone, other than Kelly, who he actually liked or knew, let alone loved. In the beginning with Kelly, he remembered it being amazing, and perhaps he was desperate, but being with Justin felt like nothing he'd ever experienced before. Joey was so hard already, fitted between Justin's legs. Justin tasted like maple syrup and strawberries, and Joey licked at his tongue before moving out of his mouth and over his face, kissing his skin. Justin's face was rough and unshaven, and it felt odd under Joey's tongue, but sexy, too. Nuzzling Justin's neck, Joey tightened his hands around Justin's hips, pulling him closer. Justin's fingers fluttered over his back, half-heartedly pulling at his shirt, and Joey stopped kissing for a second to pull it over his head, tossing it into the sink. Justin leaned forward, catching his mouth in a bruising kiss, then Joey pushed up Justin's black tank, hands curled around his sides. Justin's skin shifted and moved over muscles, and he lifted his arms so Joey could tug it over his head. "You're so hot," Joey breathed, and Justin smiled, his face flushed. Joey needed to kiss that grin, so he did, running his hands up and down Justin's sides, making him shudder hard. Dipping his head, Joey tongued his chest, tracing his nipples then sucking them into his mouth. Justin threw back his head and gasped, his feet shifting behind Joey's back, rubbing together. "Joey, Joey," Justin said, pulling back and licking at his wet lips, and Joey stared at him, keeping a hand on his belly but nodding. He was terrified Justin was going to make him stop, and knowing he was terrified scared him even more. "My back is killing me here. Can we move somewhere else? I want to move somewhere else." "Sure," Joey said, and Justin jumped down. They weren't even past the fridge before they started kissing again, fingers hooked into each other's belt loops. Joey was never so happy that Justin was only a tiny bit taller as he was right then, his head slightly lifted as he licked at Justin's lips. "J, we gotta. I'm not going to make it to upstairs." "I have a condom in my wallet, and I was, um. Well, I was giving myself a manicure last night, right? So, um. Hand cream. That works, I've heard," Justin whispered, laughing at himself, and Joey lifted his hands, kissing at his fingers tips. It didn't feel weird, though Joey thought maybe it should. It just felt loving, just felt right. Joey held onto him by the hips when Justin went to get his wallet, taking the condom from him and tucking it into the back pocket of his jeans. They walked to the couch, still kissing, and it wasn't until Justin was on his back, looking up at him, that Joey stopped. "I have a kid, man," Joey said. "I love Brianna," Justin said and lifted his hand, dipping it into Joey's hair. Joey leaned into his touch, pressing his lips to the soft inner skin of Justin's wrist. "I know she's in your life, and that's okay. I mean, it wouldn't be any different. I'm already here, and I always will be." "Okay," Joey mumbled, and that was good enough, that nothing there would change. Even if Joey fucked off tomorrow, or if Justin found a nice guy that wasn't him to settle down with, Brianna would still have her uncle. "I shouldn't be thinking about her right now, should I?" Justin laughed. "No. You should be thinking about me." Joey kissed him again, licking at his lips until they opened, then he slid inside, into the heat and the wetness and the softness of Justin's mouth. With Justin's legs wrapped around his waist, Joey palmed his chest then dragged his hands down Justin's flat belly, toying with the button to his worn jeans. Justin pushed up to his touch, liquid hips moving like mercury, and Joey cupped him instead, his cock stiff under the straining denim. "I couldn't stop thinking about it," Justin confessed, tipping back his head and lifting his hips. Joey mouthed Justin's shoulder, taking the thrusts into his palm and rubbing harder. The dick under Joey's hand felt so fucking normal. That still surprised him. "With you. I wanted to tell someone, and I couldn't. I wanted to do it again, so badly." "I was such a fuck. I should have returned your calls." Joey licked up the side of Justin's neck then put his face against Justin's clenched jaw, kissing at every inch of his skin. Joey flicked his wrist, palming Justin's cock, and Justin pushed up again, his hands gripping Joey's shoulders. "I'm sorry, man. I'm just sorry." "It's okay. It's weird, all of this, I know that. It's okay," Justin whispered, opening his mouth and gasping hard, shuddering as he spread his legs, feet lifted in the air and toes sprawled. Justin mewed as he came, his breath coming hard and rough, and Joey kept moving his hand until the tremors passed. Joey chuckled; Justin was still hard. Joey flipped the button on Justin's jean out of its hole then dragged down the zipper, pulling the damp jeans off his body. Underneath, Justin was already naked, and Joey lowered his mouth to the kinky hair and damp skin, licking him clean. The taste, which was bitter and salty, was something Joey would have to get used to. It wasn't bad, just different, but it was Justin, so Joey did it, loving how Justin arched and gasped when Joey licked at his sensitive cock. Joey sat up and tugged down his own pants, taking the condom out of his pocket then tossing his jeans to the floor in a heap. Kneeling, he leaned over and spread Justin's legs, hooking the left one over the back of the couch. They were so long and lithe, and Joey ran his hands up the length of them, circling Justin's cock when his fingers met at the top. "Come here," Justin whispered, holding out his hand, and Joey leaned forward, bracing his arms on either side of Justin's head. Justin's hand snaked between their bodies and gripped Joey's cock, jerking it slowly. Joey moaned into his ear, the condom still between his fingers. "Lie on me. Your arms are shaking." Joey rested on him, Justin slippery and sweaty beneath him, and he felt huge, like he could flatten Justin if he let himself go completely. Legs bent and braced on the couch, Justin thrust upward, forcing Joey's cock to slide over his belly. Joey grunted and bit his lip. Justin smiled at him, a little shy, a lot turned on, and said, "okay." Justin grabbed the hand cream and squirted a large blob on Joey's palm, wiping his finger through it and dabbing the tip of Joey's nose. Joey wrinkled the bridge of it and laughed, lowering his hand between Justin's legs and touching him right there. Justin opened his mouth, but no sound came out. "That feel good?" Joey asked, still unsure of how good it could feel, remembering going to the doctor and how awkward and painful it always felt, bent over the table, a stranger's finger in his ass. Justin nodded, though, licking his lips in concentration. Slowly, Joey slid a finger inside, thoroughly working the lotion around. Justin twisted his hips, pushing back at Joey's hands, and Joey slid in another one, scissoring them to loosen him up. Justin was so tight, tighter than any girl he'd taken, and he responded better. The girls always winced and never got off on it. With the way Justin's cock was leaking, Joey thought maybe it was actually sexy. Joey thought maybe he wanted Justin to do it to him. Justin squeaked suddenly, banging his foot against the back of the sofa, and he pulled Joey's hands away, panting hard. Joey looked at him, and Justin blushed darkly, covering his face with his hands, but he let Joey pull them away when he tried. "J?" Joey asked quietly. "I almost came again. I'm so. I have no endurance," Justin muttered, sheepish, and Joey laughed, face tucked into the curve of his left knee. Justin laughed, too, skin still warm and red. Reaching up, he took the condom from Joey's hand and opened it, handing it back. Joey rolled it on then kissed both of Justin's knees. Impatiently, Justin pushed his ass at him. "Hold on," Joey said, grinning, but Justin shook his head no and presented his ass again. This time, Joey positioned himself and pushed lightly, increasing the pressure until he slipped inside. Justin hissed, baring his teeth, and Joey waited until he relaxed again, stroking idle patterns on his tight belly. "You okay, J?" "Yeah, it's. Go in a bit more," Justin mumbled, angling his hips, and Joey slid in deeper. When they were flush together, Justin put a hand on his shoulder and stilled him, face twisted in painful discomfort. "Okay. I just have to. Find the right position." Justin twisted his hips, spreading his legs further, while Joey waited, his heart pounding again. Suddenly, Justin gasped, a low keening noise escaping his throat, and he pushed at Joey, hands fluttering down to Joey's hips and pulling. "It's good," Justin murmured, "it's good now." Joey lifted Justin's legs to his shoulders, tilting his pelvis even more, and Justin started writhing, making the most incredible noises. Thrusting slow and deep, Joey nearly bent Justin in half, kissing him on the mouth and swallowing his cries. Justin keep his arms wrapped around Joey's neck, gasping with every determined thrust. Joey sunk deeper and deeper until he could feel the orgasm start to twist in his belly, travelling up his spine then down again. When it hit, he just kissed Justin harder, sucking on his tongue. Moving his hand between their bodies, he jerked Justin off, still thrusting with his softening dick. Justin came quickly, already so close, and Joey collapsed on him, panting. Justin shifted so they lay side by side, clinging together in order to stay on the couch. Justin smiled and kissed Joey's brow, and Joey stroked Justin's hips and belly, his hand sliding easily over sweat-damp skin. They lay there for a long time, tangled up and comfortable, until Joey's cell phone, which was hooked on his belt, started ringing. Justin pushed at him, so he reached over and picked it up, "hello?" "Dude, I didn't break her," Chris started, and Joey exhaled sharply. "But she's puking everywhere and, I think, a little feverish. We're in the tub right now, taking a lukewarm bath, which I don't know is even a good thing to do, but we're just filthy." Joey sat up, and Justin mimicked the movement, tipping his head. Joey took his hand and held it tightly, smiling at him. Justin smiled back and nodded. Joey put the phone closer to his ear. "Okay. I'm coming home. I'm bringing Justin. Ten minutes, Chris." Joey hung up and Justin was already dressed, holding out Joey's jeans and new, dry shirt. Joey kissed him then put the clothing on, sliding into his sandals. Justin followed, locking the door then climbing into the passenger seat. "Brianna is puking on Chris, and he's spazzing," Joey said, by way of explanation. "Is she okay?" Justin asked. His forehead wrinkled. "She gets finicky if it isn't me or Kel taking care of her, and I hoped she knew Chris well enough not to freak out, but I mean, that man would scare anybody, so." Joey trailed off, smiling to ease Justin's worry. "She's fine. I'm sure she is." Justin nodded, and they drove in silence to Joey's house. They found Chris in the tub, still wearing his leather pants, with Brianna sitting in the water, Chris's hands under her arms and holding her up. She was splashing tiny fists at the surface, smiling. "Gimme my kid, Kirkpatrick," Joey said, and Chris handed her over. Joey kissed her then wrapped her in a towel, keeping her against his chest. Justin walked up to them and touched her head, then he nodded when she gurgled at him. "Well, we've learned who she likes better." "She'll love me when she's thirteen and I take her shopping," Chris muttered, standing up and taking off his pants. He stalked out of the bathroom naked, all pale white ass and wet feet. Justin grinned as Joey laughed. They met up again in Joey's room, where Chris was stealing clothing. "All right, what freaks you out more, me wearing your boxers or my balls flapping around in a pair of your pants?" Chris asked, holding up both options, and Joey rolled his eyes, letting Chris take the boxers. Chris got dressed quickly, and smacked them both on the ass. Justin hissed. "Oh, well. I guess we got that little situation worked out, didn't we?" "Um," Justin said, but Joey just nodded, tucking a hand to the small of Justin's back. Justin looked up at him, puzzled for a moment, then he smiled brightly. Chris shook his head and grabbed a shirt, shrugging into it. "Just don't screw up the group, okay? This is very dangerous, especially considering how this started. I'm not ready for this to end, and I swear to god, if you guys break up and start breaking us up, I'll haunt you for the rest of your natural life," Chris promised, pointing at Justin then Joey, both of whom nodded. "All right. I'm going." Chris smirked. "And behave." "Go home," Joey finally said, and Chris left. Justin sat down on the bed, crossing his legs, and Joey put Brianna into a diaper, blowing on her belly as apologies for leaving her with a maniac. When he was done, he laid her in Justin's arms and went to find a sleeper. Joey searched high and low for a clean outfit until he found one, tucked between the crib and the mattress. It was white with blue elephants, and he couldn't for the life of him figure out how it got there. When he came back, Justin was asleep on the bed with Brianna on his chest, her fingers curled around one of his and his other arm braced protectively against her back. Joey smiled then gently untangled her, waking her up briefly to dress her, but she drifted off again with a sigh, a thumb in her mouth. He laid her down in her crib then walked back to Justin. Lifting the blankets back, Joey took off Justin's jeans and tank then disrobed himself, slipping under the blankets. He fitted himself against Justin's body, his head tucked under Justin's chin, and Justin's arm moved to rest on his back. Joey closed his eyes and fell asleep. Fin.