~~~
the woods are lovely, dark and deep.
but i have promises to keep,
and miles to go before i sleep.
- Robert Frost, "Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening"
~~~

Lance moved out on a rainy Sunday afternoon, just started packing up the guest room and said -- "bye, guys, take care" -- when JC came to pick him up, and then he was gone. Chris looked down at his hands, and Joey felt irrationally angry and abandoned.

It was not as if Joey wasn't sure he could live on his own with Chris; it was mostly that he was used to Lance and liked the fact that sometimes Lance didn't mind when Joey mumbled his worries at three in the morning. Joey was fine with Chris, of course he was.

They didn't talk for six hours, just looked at each other every once in awhile as the dark lingered then settled onto the house. It started pouring in the early evening. By nine o'clock, the power was gone, and it was pitch black.

"Empty, without Lance," Joey muttered as Chris lit a couple candles, and Chris nodded. Running a hand through his hair, Joey bit back a sigh and watched Chris with the matches, frightened by the way the light bounced off Chris's face and made him seem angry.

Chris sat back on the couch, his hands wrung together before he shuffled over the cushions, and Joey lifted his arm, tucking Chris under his hand and holding him. The rain pressed down harder, and Joey shivered, shrinking into his over-sized sweatshirt.

Joey jumped when Chris ran a cautious hand over his thigh, barely pressing into the fabric, but Joey froze in irrational fear, breathing hard. Chris looked up at him, and Joey was brave enough to look back, already feeling lame and foolish.

"Still not fixed?" Chris asked, crooking an eyebrow.

Joey laughed abruptly and shook his head. It felt good to laugh. "No, still broken." Chris pursed his lips together and nodded, his eyes wide and intensely dark. Joey brushed his hand over the curved fingers on his thigh. "It's not you, you know."

"I know," Chris said, "I'm just. This was supposed to be so much better than it is, Joe. This was going to be great, you and I. And it's not. It's." Chris pulled his hand back to his lap, burrowing his face in Joey's shirt. "It's painful, Joe."

Joey nodded.

Chris stood up and walked to the window, pressing his forehead against the glass, and Joey sat back, pulling a pillow into his lap. "It's really raining out there," Chris said, his voice quiet and calm. "Justin cries when he looks at me."

"He took it hard," Joey said.

"I should say something to him," Chris said, "something to make him stop looking at me like I'm broken, like one wrong word is going to shatter me. I feel guilty," Chris laughed, deep and throaty, "that he knows and. he fucking cries about me, Joe."

"You're his idol, you know that."

Chris shrugged and took a deep, forced breath. "I guess he learned his lesson, didn't he?"

"Don't say that."

"Why not? It's true. He looked up to me, thought I could do no wrong, and look what it got me. Look at me, Joe," Chris said, crossing his arms over his chest, shifting his weight from one leg to the other. Joey lifted his eyes. "This was a bad idea."

Joey frowned. "What?"

"This. Us. Bad idea." Chris leaned against the wall, tilting his head back and glaring at the ceiling, and though it was dark, the light from the candles made the wet sheen on Chris's face obvious. "You're not happy, Joe."

"Neither are you," Joey replied.

"And it's all because of me. All of it." Chris lifted his head when Joey made the motions to stand up. "No, stay there, all right? Everyone says we don't talk enough. Well, I'm talking now. You have to hear this, Joe. Okay?"

"Fine," Joey said, "go on."

"You're straight."

Joey snorted. "Am I? Funny. I could have sworn I was dating a man."

"But before --"

"Before what? I never said one way or the other, Chris. I've never claimed to be anything at all." Joey struggled to keep his voice even, but it was hard. Joey knew perfectly well that Chris was trying to dump him, and he wasn't going to let him. "I wasn't straight then, and I'm not straight now. I came out to my mom when I was thirteen, man, ask her. She'll tell you how queer I actually am."

Chris didn't say anything, just stared at his feet.

"When you first started joking around with me, you scared the shit out of me, all right? I thought you were going to out me, and I didn't want that, not then. I'm the womaniser, Chris, and yeah, I've slept with quite a few, but I'm bisexual, man, it's allowed. I do play the straight man in the group, it's just the way it is, but I came out. The guys must know, and I'm with you, so if you're going to get rid of me, please find a better reason than trying to pin it on my apparent straightness."

"I just want you to be happy," Chris said.

"I will be," Joey replied, "with you."

"Joey, I'm. broken. Okay? There's nothing left in me of that guy you used to know. I. I'm gone, do you understand? You love a ghost, Joey. That's all I am anymore. A ghost," Chris said, and he sounded defeated, like he felt he'd already lost, and Joey frowned, "and I'm not coming back. I'm never coming back."

Joey stood up and walked over to Chris, ignored him when Chris smacked him away, and wrapped Chris in strong, protective arms. Chris wriggled, tried to pull away, but Joey stayed strong, firm, in his hold, and whispered, "you'll come back, man. You're almost here."

But Chris was right about one thing. This wasn't how it was supposed to be.

It was supposed to be beautiful.

~~~

"Hey," JC said, bringing Joey a cup of coffee. "Where's Chris?"

"Don't know," Joey replied, rubbing his face before throwing back a swig of coffee. It was lukewarm and black, but Joey didn't mind the bitter taste. "He's pissed at me for not letting him dump me. Stubborn fucker," Joey added, swallowing another mouthful.

JC bit his lip. "I don't know how you. how you."

"What? Stayed with him this long?" Joey asked, tilting his head, and JC nodded, eyes drifting to the floor. "Whether he likes it or not, we're in this together. I'm not even really angry about him trying to ditch me, just hurt. I'm losing him, Jayce, and I don't know how to make him stay."

"Stay where?"

"Here. With me, in his life." Joey sighed deeply, sipping coffee. "Some days, they're great. I can see that Chris we knew in there, can feel him coming back, but other times, like now, he's in there so deep I don't know who I'm talking to, you know?"

"I don't know how he survived it. I couldn't have," JC said quietly.

"One step at a time," Joey mumbled, "one morning at a goddamn time." Joey rubbed his face with the palm of his hand, pinching his eyes closed and shaking his head. "Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I should go find him."

"He probably just needs some time alone. Wade's gonna kill him, though. Chris's still so volatile, so angry, and Wade. I just think Wade's gonna blow soon, man, and then what?" JC leaned against Joey, giving him a nudge with his head, and Joey nudged back, smiling sadly. "I want him to get better, Joey, so badly."

"I know," Joey said.

That's all Joey wanted now, too.

~~~

In therapy with Dana, they talked about Joey's malfunctioning dick again, which was Joey's most hated subject, and he tended to shrink low in his chair while Dana asked him questions as she tried to discover why. Chris, Joey presumed, was out in the waiting room, reading old People magazines, and Joey missed him.

"It's not a matter of attraction," Joey said when Dana asked, "I'm attracted to him. I've always been attracted to him. He's a good-looking guy, a bit weird, I guess, with these, like, startlingly elfish features, but I think he's hot. Sexually, I used to imagine being with him and shit, all the fucking time."

Dana sat back. "So what's changed?"

"Chris, I guess," Joey replied simply, shrugging, "I can't imagine being with him anymore. I don't want to hurt him, and I think, sometimes, he's hinting that maybe we should, I don't know, get a bit more intimate than we are, but anything more than kissing, I don't think I could handle it. I don't want to hurt him."

"How would you hurt him?"

Joey frowned. "I don't know, but I would. I'm. He says he's broken, and. I guess he is." Joey picked at his jeans, rolling his shoulders. "It's like playing with broken glass. It's still pretty, but if you touch it the wrong way, it draws blood. If I touch him the wrong way, I'm going to bleed inside, and I don't know what the right way is anymore. I never did."

Dana looked up, blue eyes bright behind glasses. "Joey, this wasn't your fault."

"I didn't say it was," Joey replied curtly and looked up at the clock, grateful time was gone again and already heading for the door. "And oh, time for me to go. I'll leave the cheque with your receptionist. Bye."

~~~

It was Sunday again. Another week gone, and Joey lay on the couch, listening to the shower run and hoping this wasn't the day Chris offed himself in the bath. Lance phoned in the early afternoon, and Joey talked to him for awhile, inviting him and the guys over for dinner.

"I'm not depressed," Joey said idly when Lance mentioned it. "Well, maybe I am, but you can't fault me for that, you know. Things kinda suck right now, what with Chris trying to dump me and stuff. I'm fine, Lance, really."

Lance made nonsensical noises then said goodbye, leaving Joey to lie back down on the couch and flip through the channels aimlessly. Busta came jumping loudly into the room, immediately going for the hand Joey had on the ground and licking it.

"Hey," Chris said, dressed but still wet, and Joey looked up just as Chris squeezed onto the couch beside him, the length of his body pressed against Joey's back. After a moment's hesitation, his damp lips pecked against Joey's neck, and Joey smiled a bit. "What're we watching?"

"Don't know," Joey said, "but it isn't very good."

Chris touched his fingers to Joey's arm. "I'm sorry, Joe. I just wanted you to be happy. I. If I was you, I'm not sure I'd be able to survive this, survive me." Chris pressed his face against Joey's shoulder. "But I appreciate it. I'm grateful, you know?"

"Yeah," Joey mumbled, his eyes burning.

Chris breathed in deeply then let the air flutter out, brushing Joey's skin, and it prickled under the stream, cold. "Dana said I should tell my mom, so I did." Chris's hand tightened on Joey's arm, grabbed hold. "I told her over the fucking phone. I couldn't. I didn't want to see her face."

Joey wished he could see Chris's face. "How did she react?"

Chris's voice darkened. "I stayed on the phone with her for four hours while she cried. Just, sat there and listened to my mom fall apart. She worried about the girls, taught them how to defend themselves, but she didn't think it would be me."

"Nobody did," Joey said simply.

Chris dragged his face across Joey's shoulder, leaving a damp trail behind and pressing tiny kisses over Joey's skin. "I sure as fuck didn't. And I." Chris paused and made a strange noise, and Joey finally turned onto his back, sitting up and not surprised when Chris pulled back. "Never mind."

Joey said, "Chris."

Chris stared at his clasped hands, and Joey folded his fingers over them, squeezing. "Joey, we both know that I asked for it. I thought I was being funny, and that fucker wasn't in on the goddamn joke. Okay? We know this. We don't have to pretend."

"Chris, Jesus." Joey tried not to sound horrified, but he didn't do a very good job of it. "You didn't ask for anything, all right? If you did ask for anything at all, you were asking for me. You were mine, and he knew it. You're still mine, and I'm." Joey paused, his head throbbing, screaming inside. "I'm fucking pissed to hell that he didn't respect that. Didn't see how. much we belonged to each other."

"I teased," Chris started, but Joey tightened his fingers tightly into Chris's hand, pressing until Chris looked up.

"You teased me. Not him. He was a sick fuck who wanted a victim, and you were it. And it sucks, and it's fucking the most unfair thing, and I wish to god it hadn't been you, but it was." Joey bit his lip and ignored the world blurring. "Chris, if you're going to blame yourself then you better blame me, too."

Chris blinked hard and wiped at his face. "No, Joe, you, no. I'm so fucking sorry I'm hurting you so much." Chris put his head against Joey's chest, clinging in a way that both comforted and terrified Joey. "You're right. you're right. It was him. It was all him."

"I belonged to you. He tried to take that from us. And I'm so fucking. scared. that it worked," Joey muttered, closing his eyes tightly in the hopes that he wouldn't start bawling like a fucking baby. "Chris. I need you to stay here with me."

Chris tensed. "But, what. I. I'm not going anywhere. I'm. not."

"You're already gone half the time," Joey said, peering at him when he thought it was safe, and Chris looked back through heavy lids. "I'm terrified, fucking shitting my pants here, thinking you're going to do something to yourself."

"I won't. I won't, Joe," Chris insisted. "It may seem like it, but I'm a stubborn fucker, you know that, and if I was going to give up, I would have months ago. I just. I want to be normal again, and it's looking impossible, but I don't know if it's right for me to ask you to live like this with me, halfway broken. You can't even fucking get it up anymore."

"That is so not anyone's fault," Joey replied, "and Dana's working with me about that, all right? I'm not even missing it. Not at all. I worry, yeah, because I'm twenty-four years old and my body thinks it's ninety. But it's just another thing we have to wait for, that's it. Just another mess in this whole nightmare."

"I want to wake up," Chris admitted, "I want to open my eyes and be back at the beginning, and I want the fucking guts to tell you what I couldn't, that I wanted you so fucking badly and didn't ever think you'd want me back." Chris grabbed Joey's hand and pressed his lips to the smooth of Joey's wrist, a lightly wet kiss. "But it's better late than never, and I'm only happy anymore when I think of that. I'll stay here for you, man. I'm here for you."

Joey grabbed him and held on as tightly as he could.

~~~

"Yo, point me to the barbeque," Justin crowed, padding through Joey's house in his sandals and tossing the buns on the kitchen table. Chris smiled at him, and Justin smiled back. Joey reminded himself to give the kid a beer later. "Jayce thinks he made potato salad."

"I did," JC said, offering Joey a lidded bowl, "it just doesn't look like it."

Joey opened up the container and laughed, handing it to Chris, who crooked an eyebrow and poked at it. Joey smirked as Chris set it gingerly on the counter, sliding it far away from them. "You sure you used potatoes, C?"

"Fuckers," JC said, grinning. "Lance made pies. I think that more than makes up for my malformed potato salad," JC paused and put it in the fridge, "which I really did make with potatoes. Promise. I helped Lance with the pie, too."

Joey smirked, and JC smacked him on the shoulder, taking a beer out of the fridge. Joey leaned on the counter, Chris's hand on his back, moving in soft circles, while Chris stared out the window, gone again. He'd spent the night screaming in his sleep; Joey could hear him all the way across the hall. Joey thought Chris looked tired.

"Woo, baby, and there was fire in the land of mortals!" Justin shouted from outside, and Joey laughed to see the flames a good foot in the air, flickering wildly. Justin was jumping around, calling the barbeque a motherfucker while teasing the heat higher. "Joey, me and this thing are getting hitched next week. I'm trading you."

"Not likely, J," Joey replied, laughing, "your fancy-schmancy, top of the line model will just have to suit you. And Jesus, kid," Joey breathed as Justin jumped back, "watch the fro! The amount of chemicals you put in that thing, you know you're flammable."

"Fuck off," Justin sing-songed merrily. "I'm just a man in my element."

"I'm gonna go teach the Infant some humility," Chris muttered, and his palm left the small of Joey's back. Joey looked at Justin, who was dancing around and proclaiming himself high god of barbeques, and nodded. Chris smiled slightly and kissed Joey quickly.

Lance came into the kitchen with three pies stacked on top of each other, a bottle of rye under his arm and his sunglasses hanging from his lips. JC took the sunglasses and grinned before taking a pie and setting it on the counter.

Joey smiled at them and turned to look out the window, watching Chris and Justin together. They were speaking, but not too often, and sometimes Chris smiled, which Joey suspected was mostly to get Justin to smile back.

"It's so painful to watch him," JC murmured, and Joey looked up to see him staring, his face bleak and tight. "I can't. He's our brother, man, he's as much me as I am me, and. He's so hurt inside that it's all I see. God, Joe."

Joey nodded, and Lance stepped forward to touch JC on the back, rub in gentle circles to calm him down. His eyes were frantic and watery, and Joey watched JC stand there, empathising because JC empathised with everyone, always had, but it had never been something like this before. Joey felt bad for him.

"We just have to let him keep walking," Lance whispered, loud enough that Joey could hear while he watched Justin flip the burgers, wondering what they were talking about out there. "He'll find his way through this. He just has to walk the miles."

"I want to die when I think about," JC said, and Joey didn't hear anymore because Lance was leading him away by the shoulders, hushing him because everyone knew Joey couldn't take any more weight than what Chris had to offer. Joey was grateful for that much, at least, but that was the way they'd always worked, though, like a chain, and they needed it now more than ever.

One weak link, and Joey knew they'd all fall apart.

~~~

When Johnny and Wade showed up, Joey begged them to leave, but Chris came up behind them, and said, "thanks for coming guys." Joey looked at Chris, and Chris looked at him, looking so defeated. "Just a couple minutes, Joe, then we'll eat. Okay?"

Joey nodded and walked numbly into the backward to where the guys sat around and drank while Justin torched the burgers. JC looked up first, those blue eyes already seeing too damn much, and Joey hugged him tightly, then hugged Justin and Lance, too.

"Guys, I love you. I don't tell you that, but I do," Joey muttered into Lance's neck, squeezing him and not wanting to let go. "You seem to think I'm doing something impressive here, that I'm Chris's rock, but you're mine."

"We know," Lance said, "of course, we know, Joey."

Justin nodded then ducked his head, glancing into the house. "He's telling Johnny and Wade?"

"I guess," Joey said, still wrapped around Lance, "he never told me he was, but obviously. I guess."

JC shook his head and pressed his fingers to his mouth. "But we were fine. I mean, we were covering him, protecting him as much as he could, why tell them now? It's been so long. Oh, god, what if he's -- "

"Jayce," Lance said quietly, pulling him into the hug, and Joey grabbed Justin, too, not to leave him out, and they stood there, this faces bowed to each other, cradled by the dark. "Maybe, the more people we have holding Chris up, the more likely it is that he won't fall."

"And he promised me," Joey whispered, "that he'd stay here for me."

"And me too," Justin said, and Joey knew he was crying again and hugged him extra hard, not minding when Justin pressed his wet face into Joey's shoulder and spoke broken words. "I made him promise. I didn't know if he would."

"Of course he would," Lance said, "he's Chris."

Joey only hoped that would be enough.

Joey needed that to be enough.

~~~

Joey felt uncomfortable to know Wade was crying. The other guys, Joey could deal with that, but Wade, their fucking choreographer, was on the couch, sobbing. It was silent while they sat outside, squished on one side of the picnic table and looking in the window. Johnny was a few feet away, smoking, his face a tight mask of. something. Joey couldn't tell.

"Is he all right, do you think?" JC asked, "Wade, I mean."

Johnny shrugged and tapped his ash to the wind.

"He doesn't look all right," JC said. "Neither does Chris. Maybe we should."

"Just let them be," Lance said, rising to his feet and urging JC to stand, too. "C'mon, we'll go for a walk, and when we come back, things'll be under control again. All right?" JC nodded, and Lance turned to Justin. "Want to come with?"

Justin followed them out of the gate.

"He tell you everything?" Joey asked.

"Yep," Johnny said, "told me about you guys first. I was happy for you."

"Yeah, well," Joey said, shrugging. "We're happy about that, too. But."

"But," Johnny agreed, lighting another cigarette and offering Joey one, who politely declined. "I understand why he didn't tell me sooner. I feel like a dick because I was hounding him to buckle up, called him a bitter old man."

"He was before, too, that hasn't changed," Joey said and smiled at his knees, rubbing his hands through his hair. "It was his choice, Johnny. I didn't even know he planned on telling you. I. We've kept it a secret for a long time."

Johnny took a deep breath. "I feel guilty, Joe. I feel like I should be after this guy, getting him behind bars for doing this to one of my boys, but Chris, he won't, and I agree with him. I fucking agree with his reasons for not doing anything."

"He hasn't told me anything," Joey admitted, "he thinks I should know, but I don't."

"Of course you don't. He's more to you than all of this, so it wouldn't even dawn on you what could happen if this gets out." Johnny laughed bitterly, a harsh snort. "God, I used to think Chris had this skewed work ethic, that he'd die to get his dreams, would do anything for you guys to make sure you kept your music, and, well. It looks like I was right."

Joey wanted to say something in retort, but he couldn't find the words, and there probably weren't any to be had. Joey put his face in his hands and finally muttered, "it's not his fault. And it wouldn't be his fault if people found out, either."

"Not yours, either," Johnny said. "But not much I can say to change what you both seem to think about this. I'm just the manager, Joey, but, as your friend and a guy who's seen you guys grow into men, if you both don't let this game of guilt and blame go, I'm going to lose you both to places I don't want you in."

Joey didn't want to say he feared they were already there.

Wherever he was, it was place he didn't especially want to be.

~~~

Wade went home before dinner even started, and Johnny stayed for awhile after but eventually left after the food was served and eaten. Lance and JC tapered off afterwards, JC looking haggard like he hadn't slept in weeks, and Joey thought maybe he hadn't. Justin left, too, after sharing one last beer with Chris.

Chris stood at the window for a long time after they left, and Joey went into the kitchen to tidy up, putting the leftover pie into plastic containers and tossing out the potato salad. He emptied all the beer bottles and wiped down the counters. When it was clean, he just stood there and felt useless, out of place in his own kitchen.

"We spend a lot of time in silence," Chris said, standing in the doorway, and Joey nodded, his hand bent against his mouth and still in his place. Chris stepped up behind him and touched his back, and Joey finally turned to look at him. "We need to talk more."

"Are breaking up with me again?" Joey asked, echoes of the conversation a week ago drifting back, but Chris shook his head, running a hand down Joey's arm. "Then, yeah. It's too quiet here, sometimes. A lot of the time, I don't even know what to say."

"Me neither," Chris confessed, "I remember how we'd never shut up with each other."

"Feels like years ago," Joey added, watching Chris's fingers on his skin and wishing, just wishing, that once his body would react to anything from Chris, but it didn't, and Joey couldn't help but sigh loudly. "I promised myself I wouldn't regret, you know? I wouldn't dwell on everything, but I do. It's so obvious nothing's right anymore."

"Can't help but dwell, sometimes." Chris put his hand on Joey's belly, holding it there flush against Joey's shirt, warm despite the layer between flesh. Joey looked down, watching Chris's hand stroke lower, testing, but there was never anything there. It was all gone. "We haven't really talked about it, you know." Chris bit his lip. "Sex."

Joey frowned. "Chris, you know --"

"I know that you're probably more worried about it than I am, at this point. I know that you don't. that you don't get hard anymore, but that's all we've talked about, Joe. I think I even get why that may be, but I think we need to talk more about it," Chris admitted, his short fingernails scratching over Joey's skin, and it prickled, cold in the warm room.

"Why bother?" Joey asked, "it's not like anything can happen."

"There's more to sex than a dick or two. And I," Chris said slowly, smiling to himself, "I do think about it sometimes. Like, kissing you, at least. We don't really kiss, Joe, not like lovers. I'm just worried that maybe we're friends pretending to be more."

Joey looked at the wall. "I used to think about being with you, Chris."

"Yeah? Was I any good?"

"Pretty good, yeah," Joey replied, willing himself not to react because if Chris even made him smile then he'll have done what Chris wanted and the opportunity for serious conversation would be gone. "I honestly don't know what I feel now, Chris."

"I know," Chris said, looking sad and old again, and Joey felt horrible knowing he brought it on, like he always seemed to do these days. "I feel like I should apologise, and I barely understand why anymore. You won't let me go."

"No," Joey agreed, "I won't."

"And I don't really want to go," Chris admitted. "So that leaves us here."

"Miles apart, it feels like."

"Yet, maybe closer than ever."

"Yeah," Joey said, "maybe."

Chris sighed deeply and took his hand away from Joey's body, sticking it in his pocket, his eyes dropping to the ground. "I'm gonna head upstairs, I think. Relax a bit before bed, or something. I don't know. I'll see you up there?"

"Yeah," Joey said, and when Chris moved away, Joey folded his fingers over the back of Chris's neck and pulled him into a kiss, open-mouthed, tongues tangling for a brief but passionate moment. "We're so much more than friends, Chris."

"I know," Chris said, and smiled, just a bit, a painful little thing. "Don't be long."

Joey let him go and gathered the empty beer bottles, taking them into the garage. Joey could hear water being run upstairs, racing through the pipes, and he walked back into the house, locking the door and setting the alarm. It was still early, barely even nine, but Joey felt like day was long over.

Climbing slowly up the stairs, Joey rubbed the back of his neck wearily then took off his shirt, hanging it over the banister to wear again tomorrow. Chris stepped out of the master bathroom, arms crossed over his chest.

"You doing anything right now?" He asked, and Joey shook his head. When Chris held out his hand, fingers spread, Joey didn't even hesitate to grasp it, and Chris tugged him into the bathroom. "Then, you know, I thought we could. I don't know. Take a bath together?"

A bath. Joey looked at the tub with narrow eyes, and his heart started thumping, flashing back to that night with Chris, seeing him in water, red water, shivering. Chris seemed to understand and squeezed Joey's hand tightly.

"Come on, Joe. We need to take this back, this life back, right now. I can't do this alone, man. I can admit that." Chris tugged on Joey's arm again, and Joey looked at his face, praying that Chris wasn't lying or pushing himself too far, but he looked calm, in control. "Joey?"

Joey nodded and Chris let go of his hand, letting Joey take care of his own jeans while Chris stripped down and climbed into the tub. He hissed, muttering about scalding temperatures, and Joey actually laughed, knowing Chris rarely bothered to check how hot anything was until diving in. The sound was abrupt and refreshing, and it helped loosen the atmosphere. Climbing in after Chris, Joey didn't even fight when Chris urged him against his pale chest, Joey's back flush against Chris and haloed by his legs.

"I really love you, Joe," Chris said suddenly, cracking the silence, and Joey looked back at him, nodding. The feeling was obviously mutual, and Chris draped his arms over Joey's shoulder, hanging down his chest. Chris tightened his arms, hugging them together. Joey closed his eyes and let out a deep, slow breath. "It's times like this when I think we're gonna be all right."

"Yeah," Joey agreed, the warmth of the water getting deep under his skin, and he lifted his hands to curl them around Chris's forearms, feeling safe and untroubled for the first time in awhile. "We will be. Just have to keep walking, just have to find the right path and stay on it."

"We have promises to keep," Chris murmured, his lips warm against the back of Joey's head, and it flowed warm through Joey's hair and reminded him of life and love. Joey tightened his hold on Chris's arms, and Chris kissed behind his ear, gently, still whispering, "and miles to go before we sleep."

Fin.

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