When JC woke up, it was early, and he smiled to himself, kissing Chris's exposed shoulder before getting up, unfolding his naked legs and trudging to the bathroom. He pissed while he scratched his belly then wrapped himself in a big woolly robe. It was the first time in a long time that JC could remember waking up this happy.
He went to sit by the window, pulling his knees to his chest and staring out over Los Angeles. It was an almost underground city, nowhere as busy as New York's bustling streets, but he still loved it. The hotel they were staying at was his favourite, and Chris demanded the best room, whispering in JC's ear, "because my dude deserves the best."
JC thought he rather liked being Chris's dude.
JC smiled and tipped his head, resting his cheek on his knee. For the first time in his whole life, things seemed really right, like this was how JC was supposed to be living and just hadn't known until now. A warm line of happiness worked down his spine, and JC felt energised despite the semi-early hour.
JC knew he was falling in love, if he wasn't already, and that worried him a bit because when he fell, he fell hard. Falling in love was like giving away his soul, and when it never worked out, he always got it back in pieces sharp like shattered glass. JC was tired of bleeding inside, but Chris was a dedicated lover, as Dani proved, and if they didn't work, would break just as hard. JC thought, with a crooked smile, they'd probably end up comforting each other anyway.
Chris flipped onto his back, arms flailed out beside him, and the covers slipped down his soft waist, nestling between his legs. JC sometimes wanted to tell Chris how beautiful he thought he was, but Chris didn't let anyone call him that and wouldn't believe it anyway. JC liked bigger guys, anyway, because they made him feel safe. Maybe he'd tell Chris that.
Smiling when Chris snuffled, moving his lips, JC hugged his legs and felt so fucking happy. They were having lunch with Bobbie, which was great, so much more than JC expected from her, but she was a stand up gal. He loved her like a close friend.
"C, dude. Come back to bed," Chris muttered, and JC fluttered over to him, pulling off his robe and sliding into his arms. Chris hummed sweetly in his ear, sleepy, and JC kissed him on the jaw, just a tiny little thing. Chris smiled, and JC closed his eyes, listening to him breathe.
~~~
JC woke up to Chris blowing in his ear and grinned widely, trying to squirm away, but Chris's arm was wrapped around his waist, holding him tight. "Chris, Chris, stop," JC said, giggling because it tickled, and Chris licked him instead. JC yelped, "ew!"
"Funny man," Chris murmured and licked him again, right at the corner of JC's jaw then down his neck to his shoulder, burrowing his rough face against JC's skin. The arm over JC's waist tightened, fingers spread on his boney hip. "You're in good spirits today, dude."
"So are you," JC replied, nestling against Chris with Chris's chest pressed warmly to his back. JC loved spooning, and he crooked his legs, bending them parallel to Chris's until they were pressed together completely. "I feel, like, great! Like, really great."
Chris kissed JC's shoulder. "I'm fucking glad to hear that."
JC nodded and tickled his fingers over Chris's arm, ruffling the black hair and humming a bit to himself. Chris was so nice to touch, so JC traced the curved of Chris's fingers with the pad of his index finger, from root to nail. Chris lifted his hand and JC slid his under it, spreading his fingers and letting Chris's fingers fall between them. JC closed his eyes.
"You ever surprised at this?" Chris asked, and JC knew he meant us, so he nodded, pressing his lips together. Chris nuzzled his neck, and JC sighed softly, tipping his head back. He really like this, fitted against Chris, knowing that was Chris's heart beating against his back and Chris's cock nested between his legs. "Me too."
JC opened his eyes and stared at the wall. "Are you happy with me?"
"Yeah," Chris said, his voice low. "Too much, sometimes. You know?"
"It's intense," JC agreed, nodding. Chris swiped a cheek against the back of JC's neck, and JC's skin prickled as he shivered, wishing the blankets weren't at Chris's feet. Chris moved, pulling him closer, and suddenly JC was a lot warmer. "But good. I like it."
"You won't be surprised if this is heading where I think it is?"
"I won't be surprised at all," JC admitted, and he knew, just knew, that Chris was falling, too, if not already there, and that was comforting in the way it assuaged his worries. "Because, yes. Like, yes. I won't be surprised at all."
JC smiled, and Chris brushed his hand over his face, soft like gentle wind, and pulled back his hair before moving down over the bridge of JC's nose to his lips. JC breathed on his palm, a short burst of warm air, and Chris's touch softened. JC turned onto his back.
Lifting his fingers, JC put them on Chris's neck and dragged them downward, over the slope of his shoulders and spiralling down his arms then back up. Chris looked so serious, like he was studying JC's face, and JC didn't mind it, liked when Chris was quiet, so he dragged his fingers back up, under the arc of his arms and fluttering down his sides. Chris twitched, ticklish, and JC stretched his arms as far as possible, settling on his hips for an instant before moving up the centre of his belly to his chest, settling both hands folded against his heart.
"Come down here," JC said, tugging on his arm so Chris collapsed beside him, half on his body, and JC ran his hand through Chris's hair. Chris tipped his head, swallowing loudly, and JC folded his fingers over the scratchy back of Chris's neck. JC smiled. "You want me, maybe, to call Bobbie and see if she'll go out with us tonight instead?"
Chris grinned. "Why, Jayce, do you have something dirty in mind?" JC ducked his head and beamed, shrugging, and Chris pressed a kiss to his neck, hot and heavy on JC's lithe body. JC spread his legs a bit, and Chris's thigh slid between them. "I'd like that, man."
"Me too," JC said, twirling Chris's hair between his fingers before reaching for the phone. Bobbie didn't pick up, he knew she wouldn't, and he left a message saying -- "late dinner, then, I don't know, a club, or something. Dancing, or whatever. Yes." -- before hanging up. "Um. I'm just gonna. brush my teeth."
Chris grimaced. "You and me both, dude."
JC got up first, and Chris tagged behind, holding his hips. Giggling, JC took the errant hands and brought them to his mouth, kissing the fingertips. When JC looked back, Chris was smiling fondly, and JC turned around to kiss him, open-mouthed and not minding the tang of early morning.
"Next thing you'll know we'll be sharing toothbrushes," Chris murmured, and JC squeaked a laugh, looking bleak because it wasn't like he packed anything at all for this trip, except his wallet and his house keys. He was going to wear the clothes he got back from Bobbie. Chris gathered him close, arms snug around his waist, and breathed the words, "well, I guess you can, but do realise that's pretty fucking gross."
"I know," JC said, nipping at Chris's nose as they walked backward into the bathroom, barely stumbling, and Chris lifted him by the hips and plopped him down on the counter. JC kicked his legs against the cupboards while Chris rummaged through his overnight bag, extracting a blue toothbrush.
Chris smiled as he brushed his teeth, white foam all over his mouth, and JC leaned over, kissing him on the scruffy cheek. Chris's free hand walked up JC's legs to cup his hip, a thumb rubbing gently at the smooth skin between his leg and groin.
Chris spit and rinsed the brush, and JC took it between his fingers, eyeing it before letting Chris squirt a thick line of paste onto the bristles. Carefully, he put it into his mouth then started to scrub. Brushing his teeth was a secret pleasure. Chris's hand was still warm and heavy on his hip, and JC smiled at Chris widely, his cheek puffed up by the brush.
When JC was done, he said, "thank you."
"God knows we've shared enough bodily fluids," Chris said, grinning.
JC tugged Chris in between his legs then leaned over to lick a bit of toothpaste from the corner of Chris's mouth. Chris smiled, the grin reaching his eyes, and JC smoothed a hand over his cheek, into his hair. It was greasy and thick, slippery between the pads of his fingers, and he rubbed Chris's scalp until he tilted his head back, contented noises escaping his lips.
"You make me so happy," JC said before he could stop himself then looked down, pals sliding down to rest on Chris's shoulder, and Chris's hand folded over his wrist, squeezing. JC looked up, studying Chris's expression. "Chris. Before, when Bobbie said those things to me, I thought I would die. Inside, I could feel something break."
"I was so worried about you," Chris confessed, "so fucking scared."
JC nodded, leaning forward and wrapping his arms around Chris's neck, burying his face in his neck. Chris's hands dug into his lower back, clinging, and JC sniffled in his ear. "I think I wasted twenty-four years of my life. I'm too old to do this, to tell everyone that I lied to them."
"I think you honestly didn't know," Chris replied, stroking a hand up JC's back, burrowing in his hair, and JC pressed his lips to Chris's neck. "Me, Jayce, I knew. Lying only works if you know the truth. You're doing good, man."
"When I tell my family, will you come with me? They love you already. I think they'll be happy to know we're doing this together," JC explained, and Chris nodded, pulling back and moving his hands to hold JC by the hips. "Does your mom know?"
"She suggested maybe I was years ago," Chris said, shrugging, "but I told her I wasn't. I was, like, seventeen. I tell you, C, it's the last fucking thing you ever want to hear come out of your mom's mouth. ‘Chris, honey, I love you, you know that, and I want you to be happy. It's all right to be gay.' And I just fucking stared at her," Chris ducked his head and laughed, "then I started crying, man, it was terrible. I denied it, though."
JC stroked his fingers through Chris's hair, rubbing his scalp with his fingertips, and laughed a little bit because it was funny now, years later, like things often were. Chris grinned, and JC kissed the corner of his smirk. "Why did you never say anything?"
"I was already the old, fat, ugly, freaky, poor one, C, I didn't need to be the gay one, too. And my mom, man, I didn't want people spouting crap that I was queer because I was raised with four sisters by a mostly single mom. And, because I'm a fucking coward, man. I can talk all this shit to you, but I can't seem to say anything to anyone else," Chris finished quietly.
"I don't think so," JC said, "I think you just cared more about others than you cared about yourself, like you cared enough about me to sleep with me even though you knew I was probably going to flip out and become far too attached to you, even though you were still playing straight and probably the last thing you wanted was for your confused band-mate to beg for sex. I appreciate it, you know, taking that chance."
Chris grinned suddenly. "Dude, do keep in mind that I hadn't been offered dick in ages. I don't think I was being particularly noble when you offered. I think I was just desperate to be with a guy again, but hey, if we want to put the dashing gentleman spin on it, whatever."
JC laughed, hands on Chris's face, and he kissed Chris, first quickly then not, slowing it down as Chris stopped smiling and stepped forward, hands circling JC's waist. "Okay," JC said, crossing his legs around Chris's hips, and Chris's hands slid under his ass, hoisting him up. "So, we have, like, six hours, right? Six. Hours."
"Wanna play cards?" Chris asked, walking bowlegged to the bed then dumping JC onto it, sliding down next to him. Shaking his head, JC climbed over Chris, and Chris spread his legs easily without JC even having to ask. JC kissed at the vee of his thighs as Chris breathed, keeping quiet, and a hand came down to tangle in JC's hair.
JC moved his mouth around, tasting skin that was Chris in all ways, and JC thought he could recognise Chris anywhere now, knew him that deeply. JC kissed his wrists and his rough elbows, nuzzled the knobs of his too-old knees, tongued his puckered belly button. With careful hands, he rolled Chris onto his side then settled behind him, breathing onto his neck.
"I want to try this," JC said quietly, palming Chris's hip, and Chris glanced back, beaming. JC tipped his head but didn't bother to ask the reason for the smile, just reached into the bag on the night table. "Do you think we need a condom?"
"It's okay to me if we don't," Chris replied, "but lube."
"Of course," JC said, smiling as he pulled his hand back, the Astroglide clutched between his fingers. Nervous with a sudden idea, he mouthed Chris's neck then bared his teeth and bit, just firmly enough to sting. Chris straightened then chuckled, and JC looked over to see his hand waving encouragingly. "You sure? Some people freak out."
"I freak out when people use my toothbrush," Chris replied, and JC tilted his head to hear him laugh, a low full-belly chuckle that sounded honest. "See. I'm making exceptions for you, Jayce. So, go ahead, and fuck me before I turn the tables, all right?"
"Okay," JC said and rubbed his hand over Chris's thigh then over his hip, kissing his shoulder and his neck. Chris dipped his head forward, making soft sounds, and JC concentrated on the feel of him in his palm, against his mouth. JC curled his fingers into the vee of Chris's legs, where it was damp and hot, and stroked around his balls, careful because Chris was particularly sensitive there. JC was inspired by the muted reactions Chris gave, with them being so wildly unlike Chris usually was.
JC touched the patch of skin behind Chris's balls then dragged his fingers through the hair he knew was dark like ebony and plentiful, leading the most delightful trail to Chris's bellybutton. Chris shifted his legs while JC felt around, blind but for the shadows of Chris's hair. Chris didn't make too much noise otherwise. Lightly, JC nipped at him, teeth scratching over salty skin.
Chris cock was heavy against JC's roaming hand, thick and hard, and JC held it, folded his fingers around it and kept them there. It was so ruggedly masculine, this dick, so distinctly male and Chris, all at once. JC knew what it liked and dragged the pads of his fingers along the underside. Chris arched, toes curling against the tops of JC's feet.
He stroked Chris's cock for a while, the loose skin moving easily between his fingers, and JC was reminded again that this was a man he was touching, and he noted the differences, that Chris was uncut, thicker, with less of a curve than himself. JC wanted to study Chris's dick, needed to know all its secrets. JC never took as much pleasure as he did when it was in him or in his mouth or in his fist.
"What're you thinking about?" Chris asked suddenly, and JC laughed abruptly.
"Um. Your dick, actually," JC replied, blushing and pressing his face into Chris's hair, embarrassed suddenly for the intensity of his thoughts. "It's nice, you know. It's very. Um. Like, it feels nice, and I like it. A lot. And yes."
Chris laughed, shaking with it. "Oh, man, Jayce. You're something else."
"I want to write poems about it," JC continued, unfazed with the gentle teasing, and he bit Chris's shoulder again, drawing a shudder from him. "Odes to the Kirkpatrick cock," JC added, jerking his wrist, loving how Chris's hips pushed forward, greedy for touch, "paint pictures of it. You'd let me, wouldn't you? You'd sit for me and let me paint you."
"C, dude. You can do whatever you like," Chris said, and his breath hitched on his words. Over his shoulder, JC saw him running his hand over the bed sheets, fingers curled into them, scratching. JC moved his fist a little bit faster, tightening his grip, and Chris bucked, pushing back just as JC bit down again, deep. Chris cried out, a desperate sort of sound, and JC knew he was dangerously close.
"Okay. Going in, Captain," JC mumbled in Chris's ear, smiling, and Chris laughed again, lifting his leg to let JC slick him up, applying a huge glob of lube. Sucking on Chris's earlobe, JC worked his fingers around, just touching at first before grazing the opening and slowly slipping inside, where it was tight and hot.
"Oh," Chris breathed, and JC wondered why he always thought it was a surprise, that it felt good. Of course, Chris had been living as straight longer than JC had, and JC was pretty messed up about it. Maybe Chris had issues. JC decided to ask him about that later.
"Okay, pull back, your leg. Like this," JC mumbled, hoping this wouldn't hurt, but he remembered this position from the badly-written gay erotica books he'd stolen from the local bookshop, when he ended up buying ten other so-called normal books to alleviate the guilt.
Chris lifted his thigh and moved it back, and JC slid his hand around front, holding it there. Balanced on his hip and elbow, he nudged at Chris, trying to get in, and used his fingers to guide him. When the head popped past the ring of muscle, Chris exhaled sharply in something like relief, dropping his head further.
It was the slow kind of fucking JC liked it, sliding in then pulling out, slick like oil in water and smooth, soft almost in the way Chris's ass rested against JC's lower belly. JC bit down on Chris's shoulder, trying to be careful, but it was hard to think, with all this fucking and Chris's soft moans that he tried to force into the pillow. JC didn't break skin, though, just bruised it, pressing hard into the flesh as he groaned, so deep in Chris's body. It was beautiful, JC thought, it was really, really beautiful to be inside him.
"You can. More," Chris mumbled, and JC wasn't sure what he meant, so he fucked harder and bit deeper, piercing the flesh then licking at it, apologetic. Chris just shuddered hard and came all over the sheets. All the clenching and panting pushed JC over, and he felt something explode in him, his teeth sinking in one last time. JC could taste Chris in his mouth.
"Oh, no," JC whispered, when he was finally aware of everything, his limp dick slipping out of Chris's ass, and Chris looked back at him, eyes glossy and dark. "Oh, Chris, I'm sorry. You shouldn't let me do that. It's not. Hold on."
JC jumped out of bed, all sweaty and shiny, and he ran to the bathroom, rooting through Chris's overnight bag, which was filled with junk, and found a tube of antibiotic ointment. JC grabbed some toilet paper and the cream and walked back to the bed, sheepish.
"I said it was okay," Chris said, pushed up on his elbows.
"I know, but. I don't. I just. Turn over, okay?" JC asked, kneeling beside him, and Chris flipped onto his back, arms crossed in front of him. Squirting a blob of ointment on his fingers, JC rubbed it into the bite mark, stringy hair in his eyes. "I'm, um. I'm sorry."
"I said it was okay," Chris repeated and sat up, eyes serious, and JC found himself nodding, though inwardly promising himself he wouldn't do it again. Even though Bobbie had dumped him for being gay, JC had lost three other girlfriends who didn't like the way he lost control. "No, C. Don't. Don't go back into yourself, okay? Stay out here, with me."
"I'm sorry," JC said again, and he wasn't sure what he was even apologising for. Chris pinched him on the stomach and called him a loveable moron then kissed JC firm on the lips and said he was going to order a snack from room service. JC asked him to get him some toast and some juice then went to wash up while Chris called. When JC came back to him, they sat around for a few hours, talking and watching television.
JC thought a bit about things but mostly avoided them. Chris lay over his lap, sprawled comfortably, and JC stroked over his back for as long as he could, until his fingertips got numb and tingly. Bobbie called at four, and JC made the arrangements, which he could see Chris writing down because JC wasn't going to be able to remember them in five minutes. Plans weren't lyrical enough to stay in his mind for very long.
JC showered first then Chris, who took almost half an hour and sang at the top of his lungs. JC fixed his hair while smiling so big he could barely see, then he left Chris to warble happily while he searched through the box of clothes he got from Bobbie's, finding the most wonderful treasures that he'd almost forgotten he owned.
JC dressed slowly, taking care to make sure everything went on right. His black thong, which was his favourite and which Bobbie had held for ransom long before they ever broke up, fit as wonderfully as he remembered, and his socks, which were boring and white, were still boring and white. All these things, JC thought, that he wore before, they hadn't changed. Everything else in JC's life had, though.
The pants proved to be just as hard to get on as they ever were. JC tugged and pulled and grunted until the red leather slowly slid up his legs, and once they were on, he struggled to get them over his narrow hips. It took a bit more time to make sure the elastic of the thong stayed hidden and that his cock hung right, even though it looked huge already.
The shirt, a shimmery black with red stripes across the shoulders and down his sleeves, was even tighter, and JC pressed at his nipples, trying to get them to stay down and hidden. With a sigh, he gave up and instead checked to make sure the lacing on the front of the pants was tight and secure, tying a tight knot.
"Oh, fuck me," Chris said, coming out of the bathroom fully dressed, and JC turned to him, blushing. Chris fell to his knees and pressed his mouth to the swell of JC's dick, hands on JC's narrow hips, and JC didn't mind too much when the lacing was untied and Chris was sucking him deep into his mouth, being extremely loud about his enjoyment.
JC watched with wide eyes as Chris licked him and took him into his mouth, swallowing him down. It was lewd and sexy and hot as hell. JC came much too quickly, his fingers in Chris's hair, and Chris looked up as he relaced the pants, patting JC's raw cock through the leather. "Do you have any idea how goddamn sexy you are?"
JC smiled sweetly at him and shrugged, and Chris pushed to his feet, putting his mouth against JC's lips. JC licked at him, tasting the bitterness of himself on Chris's tongue, and Chris's hand fanned against his lower back, under the shirt. A finger dipped into the ass of JC's pants, rubbing at the top of the thong. JC grinned against his mouth. "You look good, too. My man," JC palmed Chris's chest, "looking good."
"My man, looking even better," Chris replied, and they made out for a while, kissing slowly as JC pressed Chris back to the wall, holding him against it. Chris tickled him a bit, a scratch of fingers across JC's flat belly, and JC curled up on himself, laughing. When Chris dipped those same fingers below the edge of the red leather pants, into the cleft of his ass, JC stopped chuckling and shuddered hard, feeling it in his toes.
"We have to stop," JC said, pulling back and fingering his bruised lips, licking at the moisture left on them from Chris's tongue, and Chris nodded. JC stepped back and breathed deeply while Chris ran one hand down his thigh before going to put on his shoes.
JC looked at himself in the mirror, hand still at his mouth, and he smiled crookedly, eyes shifting down his own lithe body. He looked good, JC suddenly realised, Chris wasn't lying, and he felt good. His skin was practically shimmering with happiness. "I'm happy," JC whispered.
"Me too," Chris said and kissed JC's temple softly. "You ready to go, hot stuff?"
JC nodded and gave Chris his ID and his money, and Chris tucked everything into the back of his black jeans. JC reached for the silver balls of Chris's necklace and fiddled with them while Chris reached for the light. When Chris's hand came back, it settled against JC's hip, warm even through the red leather, and Chris kissed him lightly, sweetly. It was electric anyway.
There was always something about Chris that made JC shiver all over.
JC suspected he knew what it was; he just wasn't going to say it yet.
Fin.
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