School
Now that Lance was eighteen, his mom stayed home in Mississippi when the group traveled to Europe. That meant that normally, Lance and Joey were roommates, Chris and JC stayed together, and Justin was stuck with his mom. Not that he didn’t love her dearly, but Lance knew he wished he could have a different roommate once in a while. Like, for instance, Lance.
In truth, they were in and out of each others’ rooms so much it was sometimes hard to tell whose was whose, but once the doors closed and the lights went out, well, Lance adored Joey, but he wasn’t in love with him, and he sure as hell didn’t want to have sex with him.
He wanted to have sex with Justin.
But that was easier said than done, unless they announced that they were dating and demanded to be allowed to room together. Lance couldn’t see that happening anytime soon. He was willing, at least to tell his mom and the rest of the guys, but Justin wasn’t ready.
Lance wasn’t ever going to tell Justin this, but he had already talked to his mom. She wasn’t blind or stupid, and she wasn’t even surprised. She was a little worried about Justin, though.
“He’s so young, Lance. He’s only sixteen. He could change his mind, and then he’d be mad at you, or say that you took advantage of him. And now that you’re eighteen…” she trailed off, a worried frown between her eyes.
“I don’t think he will, mom.” Lance shrugged. “He could change his mind, sure, but I don’t think he’ll hate my guts or anything.”
Diane smiled. “I just don’t want either one of you to get hurt, honey.”
And now she was gone, and if the other guys knew, they could at least angle for a little privacy once in a while, try to figure out a way to be roommates, with one less mom to account for. But even though Lance knew perfectly well that Lynn wasn’t going to disown Justin or anything like that if she found out he was bi, and he knew that Justin knew it, too, Justin was still nervous. Lance got that. It seemed like his parents had always know he was gay, or had at least not been all that surprised when he was twelve years old and he told them he liked Bobby Williams better than Bobby's sister Janice, but it wasn’t the easiest thing he’d ever done. He was perfectly fine with giving Justin all the time he needed.
So, for now, they had to take advantage of any opportunity they could, and settle for stolen kisses and quick gropes whenever no one was looking.
Tonight, however, Lynn was meeting with Johnny to discuss next month’s schedule, and Joey had a date. Lance didn’t think JC and Chris would miss them for an hour or two after dinner, and he had big plans.
Plans that involved stripping Justin naked and seeing what happened. He thought Justin might like that.
He was right. Justin liked it a lot. He was, in fact, very appreciative.
“Wait, Justin,” Lance panted. “Hold up a minute.” He reached out to push gently at Justin’s shoulder.
“Why? What is it? Am I doing it wrong?” Justin looked up at Lance with guileless blue eyes, and Lance almost lost it right then, in spite of the teeth marks that he was sure were encircling his dick.
“Just-um, just watch your teeth, okay?” He certainly didn’t want to discourage Justin, but blow jobs were a new skill, and although Justin usually picked up new skills very quickly, Lance really didn’t want to sacrifice his dick for the cause.
“Sorry.” Justin swiped his tongue apologetically up the underside of Lance’s cock, then swirled it around the head a couple of times, making Lance grit his teeth in an effort not to just push Justin onto his back and fuck his mouth. Lance had better manners than that. Justin pulled back, looking up at Lance again, and now his eyes were dancing with delight. “Tastes good.” He smiled slowly at Lance. “Teach me? Tell me how to do it right, the way you like it?” He lowered his eyelashes seductively. “Schooool me.”
Lance stopped breathing for a minute. “Jesus Christ, Justin. Are you trying to kill me?”
Justin laughed. “No, man, I’m not. Just, come on, you know, I’m new at this.”
“Okay. Just use your tongue, that’s it, and lick around, and suck a little bit, and keep your teeth out of the way, really. That’s the most important part. God, that’s it. Just like that. Keep doing that. That, with your tongue, that’s it. God, don’t stop.” Lance thought he might be babbling.
Justin laughed around Lance’s cock, and the vibrations went straight to Lance’s spine. It was incredibly hot, having Justin suck his cock while Lance told him how to do it, gave him instructions for heaven’s sake, told him what he liked, what felt good. Justin was a fast learner. Lance already knew that, but this new proof made him very happy.
Happy enough that he was coming before he really wanted to, but damn, Justin’s mouth was amazing. Justin had a little bit of trouble with the swallowing part, but Lance wasn’t complaining. Not at all.
Justin pulled himself up and flopped down on the pillow next to Lance, who was struggling to catch his breath. “I was born to give head, baby,” he gloated, sounding smug. Lance guessed he had a right to.
“You had a great teacher,” Lance managed between gasps.
“You bet your ass I did,” Justin said. He yawned. “I wish I could just stay here tonight.” He sounded wistful, almost vulnerable. Lance turned his head on the pillow and looked at him. He looked very young all of a sudden.
“Me, too.” Lance looked at the clock on the night stand. Nine o’clock. Joey wouldn’t be back for a couple more hours. “Set the alarm for ten, and we can sleep for an hour.”
“Okay.” Justin reached for the clock. “If Joey comes back before then, um, I guess it’d be okay,” he said, his voice so quiet Lance almost didn’t hear him.
Lance wrapped his arms around Justin’s waist and pulled him back against his chest. “I know. But he won’t.” He chuckled, thinking of Joey’s face if he came back from his date to find Lance and Justin cuddling naked in bed. “I can think of better ways for him to find out, Justin.”
“I know.” Justin sighed, and Lance tightened his hold. “Maybe we could tell them sometime.”
“Maybe we could.”
~~~~~
They’re actually starting to record in earnest now. They’ve narrowed things down to about twenty-five songs, at least to start with. Today they’re working on a song that JC wrote, kind of a power ballad that reminds Lance of one of the songs on Schizophrenic, the one with the daffodils. Lance has already laid down most of his vocals, and he’s bored. He’s not sure why he’s still here, but Joey frowns at him if he leaves the studio early, like he’s not trying. Lance remembers this, remembers being bored in the studio when it isn’t his turn, but back before Justin became Mr. Super Producer, Lance at least had someone to fool around with when they weren’t recording their parts.
Fool around with in more ways than one, Lance thinks, and no, he’s not going there. He’s not about to sit here and reminisce about the good old days of furtive blowjobs in the bathroom, or quick handjobs in the broom closet, or wherever. He knows he’s romanticizing it in his mind, it didn’t happen all that often, and he spent as much time with Joey during their downtime as Justin did with Chris, but still.
Lance sighs and pushes the bittersweet memories aside. He looks up to see Justin watching him. Justin tries a tentative smile, and for a minute Lance is positive Justin knows exactly what Lance was sitting here thinking about. He almost smiles back.
Things aren’t getting any easier between the two of them as time goes by. Lance had hoped they would, although he really doesn’t see how they’re going to. It hurts too much, even after all these years. For the millionth time, he tells himself that it’s not too late to back out, to walk away. He always thought that if he ever got to sing again it would make him happy. This, this is not making him happy.
JC stops playback and motions to Joey to take his headphones off. They huddle together, talking in whispers, while Justin fiddles with the song sheets. Joey nods, then heads in Lance’s direction.
“Hey, Lance. JC wants me to finish up this part and it’s time to pick Bri up at school, and I can’t call Kel.” Kelly’s out in LA for a few days, meeting with a potential client for Roses-N-Lollypops. Lance envies her fiercely.
“Oh, sure, I’ll go get her.” Lance is on his feet, grateful for the excuse to bail.
“Take Justin with you,” JC says.
“What?” Lance says blankly.
“What?” Justin stares at JC.
“You heard me. Joe and I have work to do, man. Neither one of you needs to be here right now. Go pick up Briahna. By the time you get back, Joey’ll be done.” JC’s using his implacable voice, and Joey looks almost grimly determined. Chris isn’t here right now, and Lance wonders if they planned this for when he was out of the way, or if it was a spur of the moment thing.
Justin shrugs and nods, without looking at Lance. Lance wants to put up more a of fight, but he can’t keep saying he’s trying if he really isn’t. “Fine.” Maybe he and Justin can use the car ride to talk about the weather.
But there’s not much to talk about. It’s hot and sunny, with towering grey and white cumulus clouds, just like every afternoon in Orlando when it isn’t actually raining. Lance concentrates on his driving with the same focus Justin gives to staring out the window at the insane mid-afternoon traffic.
And Lance thinks of JC and Joey’s resolute faces, and he doesn’t know whether to be mad or to laugh at them. They must really be fed up with the two of them, and he can hardly blame them, really. He sneaks a peek at Justin out of the corner of his eye, and sees his lips twitch. He relaxes a little and huffs out a quiet laugh. Justin smiles.
“Those two,” Lance says. He’s pleased that his voice sounds perfectly normal.
“I know.” They don’t say anything else, but the tension level is ratcheted way down. It’s nice for a change, Lance has to admit.
When they pull up in front of Briahna’s school, she heads straight for Lance’s car, like she’s expecting to see it instead of Joey’s. So this whole throwing Lance and Justin together thing was premeditated. And they have to be civil to each other because they’re with Briahna, and they can’t just sit in silence during the car ride back to the studio, because Briahna doesn’t do silence. Lance has to hand it to JC and Joey. They know what they’re doing.
“Hi!” Briahna says brightly as she hops in the back seat. Joey must have primed her well, because normally Bri is a shot-gun kind of kid, viewing the back seat as unworthy for someone with as many important things to say as she has.
“Hey, sweetie,” Justin says, turning around in his seat to talk to her.
“Is your seatbelt on?” Briahna asks him severely, and he nods solemnly.
“Mine, too, honey,” Lance says, and he pulls on it to show her.
“Okay. We can go now,” she pronounces, and Lance pulls away from the curb obediently.
Briahna beguiles the drive back to the studio with non-stop chatter, and by the time they arrive, Lance and Justin are laughing and relaxed. In fact, it’s the most relaxed Lance has been in Justin’s presence since this whole misbegotten reunion thing started.
He’s still thinking about kicking Joey’s ass, though. They go into the studio, and JC and Joey are sitting around, listening idly to the playback, chatting like they don’t have a care in the world. Briahna throws herself at Joey, and he smiles over her head at Lance, looking very much like the cat who swallowed the canary. JC, too, appears extremely self-satisfied.
Lance smiles at Justin and allows them their victory.
~~~~~
This whole starting over thing was a lot of work. Most of the time, Justin was totally determined. They had done it in Europe, and there was no reason they couldn’t do it here in the States. They had a plan, and it was a good plan, and he knew it would work. He had faith, faith in Lou, faith in himself, and most of all, faith in the guys.
But sometimes, it all caught up with him, and Justin’s brain stopped and his body protested, and he just had to catch his breath.
“Come on, Justin, I’ll help you.” Justin was so tired he almost didn’t hear Lance talking to him. As it was, he completely missed whatever it was he said.
“Huh?” Justin raised his head from the kitchen table, where he’d been attempting to do his math homework by osmosis. He’d tried everything else he could think of to get his brain to absorb the Pythagorean Theorem, it couldn’t hurt to see if sleeping with his head on top of the open textbook would work. The late afternoon sun slanted in through the window, making him squint.
Lance smiled at him, reaching out to trace a gentle finger down Justin’s cheek. “You’ve got crease marks from your book.”
Justin blinked sleepily up at Lance. Where had he come from? “I thought you guys were going to…um, the mall?” Maybe? Somewhere, Justin knew they were all going somewhere.
Lance laughed at him. “Yeah, Justin, the mall. But I don’t need shoes, only JC and Joey do, and Chris wanted to stop at that record store and see if they got any new vinyl in.” He shrugged. “So I decided to stay here. Good thing I did. You want some help with that?”
Justin nodded. “God, this is so boring,” he moaned. He was used to fitting school into the hours between working, he’d been doing it since he was eleven, but math defeated him every time. Not because he didn’t get it, really, but because it was so very boring, and his mind drifted, and then their long hours and non-stop pace caught up with him and the next thing he knew, he was asleep. He looked at Lance doubtfully. “Do you remember this shit, man?”
“Justin, I just graduated last year. I think I can still remember some geometry.” He peered over Justin’s shoulder. “Is that what you’re doing, geometry?”
“Yeah,” Justin said. “I just-who the fuck was Pythagorwhatever anyway, and why did he get to make up math theories?”
Lance laughed. “Pythagoras. He was-I don’t know, some Greek guy, or maybe he was Roman, but whatever, he knew a lot of stuff about math. Let me see.” He pulled out the chair next to Justin and sat down. Justin shoved his math book towards him with a sigh.
Lance frowned at Justin’s homework. Ha. Maybe he didn’t remember as much as he claimed he did. What kind of person remembered this stuff for more than a day after they graduated? Justin knew Lance was a dork, but he hadn’t known he was this big of a geek.
“Look, this is a right triangle. You know the length of these two sides, okay? And they want you to find the length of the long side, here, the hypotenuse. So, you use the Pythagorean theorum.”
“Which is?” Justin snarled irritably. Why couldn’t Lance just tell him? He was too tired for this.
“A squared plus b squared equals c squared,” Lance intoned, like that was supposed to mean something to Justin.
“Come on, Lance.” Justin knew he was whining, but he couldn’t help it.
Lance was a patient guy though, Justin had to admit. He just pointed and said, “Look, this is side a. It’s four inches long. This is side b. It’s three inches long. They want you to figure out how long side c is.” He waited.
“And?” Really, how was he supposed to do that?
“Justin, come on. What’s four squared?”
“Sixteen.” Okay, that he knew.
“What’s three squared?”
“Nine.” This was simple, really.
“Add them together.”
“Twenty-five.” Okay, now he got it.
“And what’s the square root of twenty-five?” So maybe Lance wasn’t as patient as he wanted to pretend, if his tone of voice was any indication.
“Five.” Justin hid a smile behind his hand.
“So how long is side c?” Lance sighed.
“Five inches.” Justin blinked innocently at Lance.
“Jesus, that was like pulling teeth, Justin.”
Justin snickered and Lance narrowed his eyes at him.
“Fine, now do this one.”
“But,” Justin frowned at the page. “They already have the length of side c here. Side a? How am I supposed to do that?”
“It’s an equation, Justin. Square b and c, then solve for a. Really. Subtract b from c, then find the square root of that, and that’s a.” The less patient Lance got, the less clear his explanations were.
“But why? Why do I care?”
“You care because I swear to God, Justin, if you don’t stop whining and get this done-“ Lance stopped and took a deep breath. “Okay, here’s the deal. If you get this done before the others get back, I’ll blow you.”
Justin brightened considerably. “Okay! It’s a deal.”
Lance grinned at him. “You know Chris takes forever at that store, but we don’t want to take any chances. I’d better stay here and help you finish.”
Justin agreed with that plan whole-heartedly.
It was amazing how easy the Pythagorean theorem could be with the right kind of motivation.
~~~~~
school: a: an organization that provides instruction, an institution for the teaching of children b: the process of learning c: to teach a specific knowledge or skill
