Accident
After a month, Chris decides to have a party. He says it’s to celebrate the fact that they’ve managed to get through a whole month without bloodshed, but Justin prefers to think of it as a whole month where Lance hasn’t yet told him to go to hell. Justin keeps expecting it, and it’s making him a little jumpy.
It doesn’t help that Lance treats him like someone he’s only just been introduced to and has decided he doesn’t really like, based on his hair or his shoes, or something. He smiles, he responds to direct statements, but always looking at a point somewhere over Justin’s shoulder, never directly at Justin. When he’s around Lance, Justin feels like some mythological creature who’ll turn people to stone if they look straight into his eyes. It’s not a feeling he particularly enjoys.
This isn’t any easier for Justin than it is for Lance, but Justin doesn’t think Lance knows that. Everyone’s been very careful not to choose sides, not too obviously, anyway, but Justin thinks sometimes that makes it harder.
Every time Justin looks at Lance, he thinks, this time, surely this time Lance’ll look back.
And every time he’s wrong, because Lance is still one of the most stubborn people Justin’s ever met, and he clearly doesn’t want to look at Justin. All this waiting is fucking with Justin’s nervous system.
Besides, there has been bloodshed, if you count Joey cutting himself shaving his goatee off when he lost the bet with Chris, but that was self-inflicted, so Justin guesses it’s not what Chris means.
And it’s a lame bet, because in a week it’ll look like Joey never shaved at all. Chris is losing his edge. He’s not as ruthless as he used to be, which Justin admits is probably for the best if they’re really going to get this reunion thing off the ground.
They’re spending the afternoon in the studio again, going over what JC and Justin have written, songs they’ve both stockpiled over the past few years. Justin always knows when something he writes is for the group, even if he seldom starts out to do it intentionally. Those are the songs he puts aside, but never forgets about. It’s been hard, initially, bringing them to the group without Robin there to listen, too, and he knows they all feel the same. In a way, that loss brings them closer and makes it easier for JC and Justin to show the others what they have.
The others offer suggestions, and even though Justin has had the most experience these days, he listens, and so does JC. Chris, Joey and Lance know what NSYNC should sound like as well as he and JC do. Justin thinks things are going well, better than he expected maybe, but he wishes he didn’t feel so tense.
Justin loves some of the songs and arrangements he and JC have come up with, but some of them, he hates with a passion. He and JC know how to do this, this studio thing, they’ve been doing it for over half Justin’s life, but he thinks the other three are waiting uneasily for the fireworks to start. Justin can’t figure out what the big deal would be if he and JC were to have a huge, screaming fight in the studio. It would at least relieve some of the tension, and it sure as hell wouldn’t be the first time it’s happened, but he’s afraid they’d never see Lance again if they indulged themselves.
“J, c’mere, man, I think this works better in G, listen to this.” JC waves him over to the soundboard. Justin sighs. No, the song doesn’t work better in G, he likes it in F, which is why he wrote it that way. It suits Lance’s voice better in F, although he’s not planning on using that as an argument today.
Chris is watching them, and when he catches Justin’s eye, he smirks knowingly. Justin points at Lance and Joey, who are engrossed in conversation in the corner of the studio, and then jerks his head at the door. “Please?” he mouths at Chris.
Chris glances back and forth between Justin and JC, who looks deceptively innocent right about now, and stands up. “Bored,” he announces. “So very, very bored.” He peers at Lance and Joey. “I don’t know about you losers, but I’m starving. Let’s leave the Bobbsey Twins to it, shall we, and find some sustenance?”
“Sustenance? You’ve been watching too much Survivor, Chris,” Joey says. “Come on, Lance, let’s go forage for food.” He hauls Lance out of his chair and pushes him toward the door. Lance goes with only a token “stop pushing me, Joey” and Justin smiles gratefully at Chris as he tosses a grin over his shoulder on the way out the door.
Justin turns to JC, who’s waiting for him with an anticipatory gleam in his eye. “I thought they’d never leave.”
“It does not work better in G, JC, and you know it.”
By the time they’ve settled things to Justin’s satisfaction, meaning that the song will stay in the key of F and also, that he’s gotten in several impressive insults about JC’s latest CD, in retaliation for JC telling him his sense of rhythm has always been just a little bit off, they’re both breathless with laughter and Justin feels much better.
Chris pokes his head back in the door. “Is it safe?”
Justin nods and JC starts giggling again. “We’re good, dude.”
Chris says, “Ok, party starts at 9,” and then he’s gone again.
Justin wraps JC up in his arms and leans his forehead gratefully on JC’s shoulder. “Thanks, dude.” JC tightens his grip and then lets him go, leaning back to smile at him. “Anytime, man. And, J.” He hesitates. “Everything’s gonna be all right, you’ll see.” Justin knows he doesn’t just mean the CD or the reunion tour that Justin is half eager for and half dreading.
Justin shakes his head. “No, it’s not, C, but thanks anyway.”
~~~~~
“It’ll be okay, Justin, just hang on.”
Justin was pale with the effort not to move his arm, and Lance wished the traffic weren’t so bad. Once they got to the hospital, they could give Justin something for the pain, and then Lance would feel much better. He remembered when he broke his arm when he was seven, falling off his grandma’s porch, and he remembered how much it hurt while his dad drove to the hospital and his mom tried to keep his arm still on a pillow on her lap.
Lance frowned impatiently at the cars in front of them, and shifted slightly in his seat with annoyance. Justin’s arm, which was pillowed on a folded up jacket on Lance’s lap, shifted too, and Justin winced and hissed through his teeth. “Shit.”
“Sorry, I’m sorry,” Lance said quickly, and he made himself sit very still again.
Fritz was in the front of the van with the driver, and he turned around to see how his charges were doing. “We’re almost there,” he informed them for what Lance was sure was the tenth time in the last fifteen minutes. Lance nodded grimly and looked at Justin’s face again. If anything, it was paler than before, with a greenish tinge around his mouth that Lance didn’t like at all. Justin looked like he was going to hurl any minute.
Lance managed to hold still for the rest of the excruciatingly endless trip to the hospital. Lynn and Diane were already waiting for them in the Emergency Room, and Lance guessed the hotel was closer to the hospital than the concert venue was, or maybe there was less traffic or something. He wasn’t sure why Lynn and his mom hadn’t come to their show that afternoon, something about doing everyone’s laundry. Lance suspected they were as exhausted as everyone else was, and just needed a break.
Lance brought the make-shift pillow into the hospital with them in case they had to wait, but fortunately, the ER wasn’t very busy, and soon enough Lynn and Justin were being led away and Lance and his mom were sitting in the waiting area, while Fritz found someplace to park the van.
“He’s fine, sweetie,” Lance’s mom said reassuringly. “They’ll fix him right up.”
Lance sat next to her, still holding onto his jacket. “I know. I just hope they give him something for the pain. It really hurts.”
His mom smiled at him. “You remember when you broke your arm?” She glanced at the folded coat in his arms. “Yes, I guess you do.”
Lance nodded. “I remembered the pillow helped me keep still, and it didn’t hurt so bad.” He peered worriedly down the corridor to where they’d taken Justin. “I wonder how long it’ll take?”
It took forever as far as Lance was concerned, but finally Justin and Lynn came back out, Justin’s hand in a cast. He looked much better, no longer green, and he waved his cast at Lance.
“Look, I got a cast! You can sign it first,” he added, as if he were granting Lance a special favor. Lance grinned in relief. Justin was fine.
“Dork,” he said fondly.
Lance’s mom and Lynn rolled their eyes at each other, as if to say, “Boys!” It was an expression Lance saw on their faces a lot.
It was the middle of the evening when they got back to the hotel, almost nine o’clock. “Mom, I’m not a baby,” Justin insisted, when Lynn wanted Justin to go right to bed. “It’s not even that late, and I’m hungry. Besides, I’ve gotta show the guys my cast,” he said, bouncing with narcotic-induced euphoria.
Lynn fixed him with a Look. “You have one hour, Justin Randall. That’s it, and I mean it. I’ll get Fritz to find you boys some food.”
“Cool. You’re the best mom ever,” Justin said as he dragged Lance down to Joey and Chris’s room with his uninjured hand.
JC looked worried, Joey looked curious, but Chris laughed at Justin when he opened the door and let them in. “You fell off the stage, man. How is that not funny?”
Justin was indignant. “Just wait ‘til you fall down and break something, then we’ll see how funny you think it is.” But Lance could see him trying not to smile as they all gathered around and oohed and ahhed over his cast.
Fritz was of necessity skilled at foraging for food, and he arrived at their door in fifteen minutes with a stack of sandwiches from an all-night sandwich shop down the street from the hotel. Everyone fell on them ravenously, even Chris, JC and Joey. Lance assumed they’d had dinner, but they acted like they hadn’t eaten for a week. Lance made sure Chris didn’t grab the ham and cheese with the sweet mustard that Justin liked, and Justin smiled at him gratefully.
Half-hour later, Lance looked at Justin and decided it was time for him to go to bed. He was valiantly trying to keep up with Chris’s jokes and JC’s chatter, but he was fading fast. He was pale, and starting to get that greenish tinge around his mouth again.
“Justin, is it time for another pain pill?” Lance asked, which made JC pause in his story about the make-up girl and the poodle, and examine Justin closely.
“Dude, you look like shit,” JC said. “Go to bed.”
“Yeah, I think I will,” Justin said, his voice shaky, and he got to his feet, wobbling a little. Lance reached out to steady him and Justin stumbled into him, clutching at his shoulder.
Ignoring the way Chris stared at the two of them, Lance herded Justin out the door. The hallway was deserted at this time of night, and Lance put his arm around Justin’s waist, guiding him to the room he shared with Lynn.
Justin sighed. “I’m so tired.” Lance nodded. Justin must be completely exhausted, because he almost never admitted that to anyone. He leaned his head on Lance’s shoulder as they walked.
“Come on, I bet your mom’s still awake.” They reached the door and Lance tapped on it quietly a couple of times. He heard Lynn moving around inside, but before she got to the door, Justin leaned forward and kissed Lance, right on the mouth. It was over almost before it started. Justin’s lips were warm and slightly chapped, and he tasted a little like Coke. He pulled back and smiled almost shyly as Lynn opened the door.
“Thanks, man. See you tomorrow.”
He slipped inside and Lance heard Lynn say, “Justin, sweetie, are you all right?” as the door closed, leaving Lance staring at it in bemusement. What just happened here?
Okay, that was obvious. Justin kissed him. Lance reached up and touched his lips with his fingertips. Then he grinned. He hadn’t expected it, but he liked it.
~~~~~
Chris’s house is lit up like a Christmas tree when Justin gets there. He makes his way through the front door, the music, all nine million decibels of it, hitting him like a physical force. He finds Chris in the basement, where it looks like every hot chick and hard-drinking guy Chris has met in the past six years has shown up. It looks like a MySpace roll call.
Justin’s always hated MySpace, but he’s here and Chris is his friend, and these are Chris’s friends, so hey, time to party.
Joey and Kelly are already here, and Kelly is dancing with Lance in the middle of Chris’s party room. Justin hides a grin as Lance swings his arms and bobs his head and tries to hump Kelly’s leg, while Kelly laughs and pushes him away. Justin just watches them, and Joey comes up behind him, wrapping one arm around Justin’s neck and shaking him gently. Justin tilts his head back against Joey’s shoulder for a moment. “Hey, Joey.”
“Hey, J. Good to see you,” Joey hollers in his ear over the music, like he hasn’t seen Justin in days.
“You just saw me a couple of hours ago, Joey,” Justin reminds him. “You miss me already?”
Joey laughs. “Quite a crowd Chris has here, huh?”
“Yeah. I’m gonna get a drink.”
JC is at the bar, a Corona in one hand and a tall brunette in the other. Justin’s never seen her before, and he figures JC probably hasn’t either. Justin reaches behind the bar and snags a Miller Lite for himself. Chris always has the crappiest beer at his parties.
Two hours later, Justin has to pee. There’s been a lot of beer, music and laughter, and now he has to pee. The downstairs bathroom is occupied, so he goes upstairs to use the one next to the kitchen. The door’s partway open, and the light’s off, so Justin figures it’s empty.
He figures wrong.
Lance is in there with someone, someone he has pinned against the sink, someone he’s kissing. Lance has his back to the door, but Justin can see his face in the mirror over the sink. His eyes are closed and Justin sees a flash of tongue and hears an appreciative, “mmm.”
Justin doesn’t mean to let them know he’s there, but he’s already pushed the door the rest of the way open and flipped on the light switch. He freezes in the doorway, and although they’re very absorbed in what they’re doing, they’re not completely oblivious to the light suddenly coming on.
Lance reluctantly pulls away from the guy’s mouth, with a wet sound that echoes around the small powder room. His eyes are still closed, and he licks his lips and says, “Sorry, we’re busy,” and leans in for another kiss.
Justin doesn’t answer, he has no idea what to say. He also has no idea who the guy is. He actually looks like one of Chris’s friends, except he didn’t think Chris had any friends that would end up kissing Lance in the bathroom. Maybe it’s one of Lance’s old Orlando friends.
Lance finally opens his eyes and sees Justin in the mirror, and he goes perfectly still. The guy sandwiched between Lance and the sink takes one look at their faces and says, “Um.”
“Sorry,” Justin says with a start. “I didn’t know anyone was in here. The light was off and the door was…I didn’t mean to interrupt,” and he waves his hand nervously at the door.
Lance’s eyes haven’t left Justin’s face and he still hasn’t moved. He doesn’t say a word, and his expression is completely unreadable.
“I’ll just…” Justin gestures vaguely again and backs out the door.
“Lance?” the guy says uncertainly.
“It’s fine,” Justin hears Lance say as he walks away.
Well, at least he got Lance to look at him.
Chris doesn’t protest when Justin tells him he’s crashing in one of the guest rooms. He’s had too much to drink to drive, and had in fact planned on staying here tonight. “Great party, dude.”
“You know it, kid. I’m the greatest,” Chris yells in Justin’s ear as he gives him a tipsy one-armed goodnight hug.
Justin agrees with him and heads upstairs to the bedrooms. He doesn’t look at the bathroom next to the kitchen as he passes it, and he has no idea if there’s still anyone in there or not.
~~~~~
accident: a: an unexpected happening causing loss or injury b : something that happens unpredictably without discernible human intention or observable cause
